Jai ho! Swami Baba! We are a nation of baba log, Babaism, Sanju Baba, Baba Asaram, Baba Ramdev and teen naam wale Baba Ram Rahim Singh or Sathya (vachchan) Baba Sai ke naam Pe. Quite a philmy Baba ki kahani! Our Ram Rahim Singh Baba must have watched Amar Akbar Anthony 100 times and borrowed inspiration from Manmohan Desai to get his name. You see Sir! No Naamkaran bas muft ka kharcha for me heard that he got some award for acting. Nautanki Saala!
Our Babas are going political nowadays and hobnobbing with the power tonis is so happening in today’s time. Arre bhai! After all, it’s a matter of Khursi pe charcha and followers. What’s the point of accumulating degrees like Vada Pav when I can don an orange robe, make prophecies and keep a day every week for people to worship and fast in my name! I could be doling gyaan to the political class and the janta. My Jhandu life would be set! The victims, Jaanta Janardhan, ever ready to bite the bait. Who else?! I shall seal their fate and play havoc with their mind, handing them a chit of paper to chant hymn, pray and obey to me. Kaash mein Baba hota toh kya hota! Baba ke khoj mein.
Baba ka naam lo, ladoo lapetlo and sprinkling rose-water on the devotees. See! I will become malamaal and am strongly contemplating a career change to become Vishal Baba. The fault lies in my stars. My future devotees, now pour haldi milk on a peepal tree sprouting in the backyard and I promise maal wala cash. I promise that no illness will ever afflict you. Where are my followers? Baba is looking for you. Seek my blessings, you NRI return and I promise to stack your gold biscuits and black money inside my vault that knows no demonetization. It’s my potion of magic.
I am a seedhe saadha baba. Come and take my darshan for I promise to make your heart Swach Bharat. The new self-claimed God that I pretend to be, promise to wipe off evil from this world and send it to Videsh. Baba and babes make for a lethal combination of doing Pravachan Saath saath to elevate on the spiritual path of unbridled sensuality, re-writing holy scripts and resisting temptations. Ram! Ram! Ram! How dare you point fingers on Babas, dropped straight from the sky by the Gods? Ain’t you ashamed to make rape allegations against the yugpurush of modern times? You sinner, the world will come to an end for calling Babas killers and rapists! Curse on you humans! You polluted minds and products of Phoren influence that you dare send our babas to jail and praying that their tribe should be banned. Babas are Gods! Babas are so pure that milk will lose its color soon to pink and blue. Now, stop watching Avatar and those fake Neelkanth planning to steal the thunder from our original blue-eyed Gods.
Ram Rahim Baba badnaam hui dahling tere liye! Poor and bad mouthed, he took it upon himself to save the world and see the sacrifice of this Dharam Adhikari, the balidan that he made to save humanity, oops his ass. Why not? After all, he is worshipped by lakhs and crores. He is the wronged one! He is our Swach Bharat mascot. Our revered sarkar and opposition bow to him. You need more proof? How dare you! He has united Bharat against the forces of evil. Congress ya BJP, Baba Rahim is the flavor for all seasons. Ram, Rahim, Singh, tere kitne naam.
Hello! Bhakts of castrated Baba! Rampage, breaking everything and burning the city gives you a mental ejaculation, like spineless asses. Planning to bring down India! Now, who should go to Pakistan? Our Baba would make the perfect cut to play Devdas with natak giri of teary ejaculating process to heal asking for maafi from court.
Aur kitna natak giri. First, in the name of God accumulating money, sexual assault, rape and murder Bhagwan ke naam pe and second, testing his testicles endurance jab tak our janta would wear blinkers, Babaism will not be a spent force.
Prem se bolo, Janta ki Awaaz! We are not playing Mangal Pandey-The Rising, country folks. Remove the blind fold. It’s the day for Babaism to be relegated to the distant past like Pehredar Piya ka. Worship the only saint, Old Monk. Raise a toast for the mighty heart and spirit. Follow your heart and not baba black sheep. No chance for aspiring Babas like me!
Politically Uncorrect and Controversially Yours
With Love
V
Vishal Bhidu 
Haha. Nice post Vishal. It’s true, we should follow our hearts not some baba. But I believe this is a deeper problem in the society that needs to be solved. There is one Tamil movie “Arai en 305il kadavul” which basically means “God in room no. 305” where a dialogue goes like this
“If you solve a problem for a human being, you will appear like a God to him/her.” I think people misuse this basic premise and then build on it using manipulative tactics. For eg. it is easy to provide food, shelter, etc. to needy persons if you have handful of money. That’s what politicians and babas strive on. And that’s what needs to be solved in the society.
Fair points made. I think it’s one of the major issues where Babas exploit the mind of people, much like politicians. It is high time for authorities and people to put a stop to it. The commoners become so gullible, I agree but the worst is exploiting people who are reading to do anything for the babas. Thanks for dropping. I am interested to check the movie.
Hmmm yeah. I think a collective effort needs to be done by people and the authorities to bring more awareness. It’s generally tough to change people’s belief system but it’s possible.
I followed you king time back fire your short stories, but haven’t read much since. I’m planning to catch up with your blog posts especially short stories. I’m a short story writer too. 🙂
And yeah, it’s a decent movie. It’s definitely worth a watch.
Keep writing.
Ya I agree to that and you know how people can be and thanks for connecting. Always appreciate healthy discussions. I saw you on Twitter and will visit soon. A month where I am stuck and somehow able to write 🙂 Do share your short stories. It’s been long that I haven’t done short stories and now you giving me the wings:)
Yeah, true. I agree such discussions stimulate our thoughts and improves our perspectives. Please look at my recent challenge : 26 short stories in 7 days. Link here : http://rajawrites.com/index.php/2017/05/18/announcing-a-to-z-short-story-challenge/
I would recommend you to read the short stories Drip, Greed, Frock, Vendetta, Landline. from that page Those are my personal best.
And yeah, do write short stories. I would love to read them 🙂
Thanks so much for sharing. I have an idea brewing in the head, cocktail of sex and fling 🙂
Cool, I would love to read it..
Cheerz. Let’s see and need to flesh out the idea.
Thank you!
Enjoyed. Hilarious to the last word. An excellent satire with messages for both fake gurus and their army of blind followers.
Thanks so much Sir and glad that you liked it. Time for us to stop blindly following those Babas.
Reblogged this on Author and Writer Promod Puri.
Such a sad state of affairs! But I’m glad more and more people are aware of such prejudice and influence these babas have. Great post, Vishal.
Kohl Eyed Me
Something’s Cooking
Thanks Shalz. It’s indeed very sad and thanks to the power of media, social media and judiciary who scored high. Guess, the Babas will always be there till there is demand which is a tragedy.
Oscar Wilde says “Every sinner has a future and every saint a past” In India we should say “Every self-proclaimed saint was a sinner in the past, is in present and will be in future”
Well said, Ashiot. Welcome here 🙂
well said we mustnot follow these things and these kinds of baba….n plzz take a look on my blog too 🙂
Thanks Nami to be here and will soon check your blog. Happy Sunday 🙂
my pleasure…hope u will 🙂
Word! Will drop a bit late aaj
Very beautiful , sarcastically written . You added a tinge of humour though . Whom to blame for this baba/ government/ followers or a shallow mindset of people and so- called babba.
Thanks my dear Shayra. So happy you loved the sarcastic post that I am doing from time-to-time. Every one is responsible, Govt or opposition bowing to them, shallow followers who don’t dare listen to voice of reasons.
Yes, true. All are guilty for this heneious crime. The reported has sacrificed his life and he got justice after 15 years. If this issue was taken seriously before, then might be the outcome would be different.
Agree with you fully Shayra. It’s such a human tragedy that when the skeleton was a out, a journalist paid for his life. It’s a huge conspiracy where so many were involved since Ram Rahim represents a huge vote bank and viewed as a King Maker. It’s shameful.
Yeah, fully. Just for the sake of votes , they put thousand of lives in danger. This is the drawback for our judiciary system but hatts of to those girls who raise their voice against it and the judge who gave fair decision under a huge pressure.
And, who will stop them when they do whatever they want and some put such an act. The judiciary delivered such a powerful judgement despite pressure from power and those girls courage should be lauded.
Yes,👍
Cheerz with a smile 🙂
Yup, same to you
haan ji To you, too 🙂
It fails me how people fall for dhongi babas.
Sadly so, Rachna and guess it’s a matter of demand and supply like I was speaking to a friend the last time. People need something to fall on but unfortunately it hurts them the most. I think it’s time to separate the state from religion. But, then there loads of things at stake. I dream of the day when all dhongi babas will lose their clout and might.
Sorry for coming late to this party, but better late than never, right? 😉
What a scathing satire on Babagiri and Baba bhakts! Dill khush kar ditta tusi! I have never understood humanity’s penchant with Babalog and religious speakers who are anything but that – pious. How blind can people be? This guy especially, even a 10 year old would say, he looks like a gunda, then why is the junta still wearing blinds? And besides, what do they preach that is not already written in your dharmic texts? I pity those who need such Babas for margdarshan. It’s like sheep following a wolf to a ditch
That’s alright. It makes me wonder on our irrationality amd trust me people will forget about the Babalog to find someone new. It has become an opium for them but people visions are so blurred. Exactly! They sell it in a package. I love your last sentence and superbly said. Haha! Take your time. The posts are not going anywhere!
Oh yes there will be others for sure. There will always be fools who will think that they need hand holding through their own bloody lives 😑
Ya and that’s the tragedy when people need a fool most of the time to give them a sense of gratification. Most of the times, many such people end up depressed and are brainwashed.
True that. 😑
hehe that’s the thing with those Baba.
😉😉
Make sure that Baba’s stature will not grow by 100 per cent after doing tapsya for 20 years in the Cell. Shunyata will help him to be so. Self-inflicted blindness is an example in our Epic, Mahabharat. People forget what happened to Kaurvas. May God save our holy land from these unholy babas!
Sadly the unfortunate truth where people’s vision are blurred. But then there will always be supply with demand. Pakhandi babas are all over the place.