Of babaism and babalog

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Jai ho! Swami Baba! We are a nation of baba log, Babaism, Sanju Baba, Baba Asaram, Baba Ramdev and teen naam wale Baba Ram Rahim Singh or Sathya (vachchan) Baba Sai ke naam Pe.  Quite a philmy Baba ki kahani! Our Ram Rahim Singh Baba must have watched Amar Akbar Anthony 100 times and borrowed inspiration from Manmohan Desai to get his name. You see Sir! No Naamkaran bas muft ka kharcha for me heard that he got some award for acting. Nautanki Saala!

Image credit: Google/Faking News.

Our Babas are going political nowadays and hobnobbing with the power tonis is so happening in today’s time. Arre bhai! After all, it’s a matter of Khursi pe charcha and followers. What’s the point of accumulating degrees like Vada Pav when I can don an orange robe, make prophecies and keep a day every week for people to worship and fast in my name! I could be doling gyaan to the political class and the janta. My Jhandu life would be set! The victims, Jaanta Janardhan, ever ready to bite the bait. Who else?! I shall seal their fate and play havoc with their mind, handing them a chit of paper to chant hymn, pray and obey to me. Kaash mein Baba hota toh kya hota! Baba ke khoj mein.

Baba ka naam lo, ladoo lapetlo and sprinkling rose-water on the devotees. See! I will become malamaal and am strongly contemplating a career change to become Vishal Baba. The fault lies in my stars. My future devotees, now pour haldi milk on a peepal tree sprouting in the backyard and I promise maal wala cash.  I promise that no illness will ever afflict you. Where are my followers? Baba is looking for you. Seek my blessings, you NRI return and I promise to stack your gold biscuits and black money inside my vault that knows no demonetization. It’s my potion of magic.

I am a seedhe saadha baba. Come and take my darshan for I promise to make your heart Swach Bharat.  The new self-claimed God that I pretend to be, promise to wipe off evil from this world and send it to Videsh. Baba and babes make for a lethal combination of doing Pravachan Saath saath to elevate on the spiritual path of unbridled sensuality, re-writing holy scripts and resisting temptations. Ram! Ram! Ram! How dare you point fingers on Babas, dropped straight from the sky by the Gods? Ain’t you ashamed to make rape allegations against the yugpurush of modern times?  You sinner, the world will come to an end for calling Babas killers and rapists! Curse on you humans! You polluted minds and products of Phoren influence that you dare send our babas to jail and praying that their tribe should be banned. Babas are Gods! Babas are so pure that milk will lose its color soon to pink and blue. Now, stop watching Avatar and those fake Neelkanth planning to steal the thunder from our original blue-eyed Gods.

Ram Rahim Baba badnaam hui dahling tere liye! Poor and bad mouthed, he took it upon himself to save the world and see the sacrifice of this Dharam Adhikari, the balidan that he made to save humanity, oops his ass. Why not? After all, he is worshipped by lakhs and crores. He is the wronged one! He is our Swach Bharat mascot. Our revered sarkar and opposition bow to him. You need more proof? How dare you! He has united Bharat against the forces of evil. Congress ya BJP, Baba Rahim is the flavor for all seasons.  Ram, Rahim, Singh, tere kitne naam.

Hello! Bhakts of castrated Baba! Rampage, breaking everything and burning the city gives you a mental ejaculation, like spineless asses. Planning to bring down India! Now, who should go to Pakistan? Our Baba would make the perfect cut to play Devdas with natak giri of teary ejaculating process to heal asking for maafi from court.

Aur kitna natak giri. First, in the name of God accumulating money, sexual assault, rape and murder Bhagwan ke naam pe and second, testing his testicles endurance jab tak our janta would wear blinkers, Babaism will not be a spent force.

Prem se bolo, Janta ki Awaaz! We are not playing Mangal Pandey-The Rising, country folks. Remove the blind fold. It’s the day for Babaism to be relegated to the distant past like Pehredar Piya ka.  Worship the only saint, Old Monk. Raise a toast for the mighty heart and spirit. Follow your heart and not baba black sheep.  No chance for aspiring Babas like me!

Politically Uncorrect and Controversially Yours

With Love

V

 

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Love Jihad reincarnated! Baba Yogi Nath’s Swach UP Abhiyaan

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Love Jihad and Ghar Waapsi is back like super God man trudging the hills to sweep all awards and rewards that beat Terminator hands down. Don’t look to the west when we have our own desi Donald Trump incarnate in Yogi Aditya Nath. UP mein hum dum kyon ki wahan pe daaku nahin hai par sirf ek Yogi Aditya Nath. Our Yogi will put UP on the world map. Hello! Ghar Waapsi, conversion and evangelizing Hindustan. Any takers?!

A secularism mukh Bharat spearheaded by the Desh Bhakt will make us fringe as if an unnamed, invisible and non-existence God is descending our planet to save all Hindus from Videshi Taakat.  Our Yogi now converted into CM Sahab is a pure genius of a Mathematician that shall beat Einstein to death with his calculations, riots in UP blamed on the back of Muslims. Jai Ho! UP Mein hain dum kyon ki Bhakt Nath hai. Wah re! BJP! Brand Modi! Brand Amit Shah! Your communal calculus has not only stumped in political Rajneet but satta also. Kamaal Kursi ka!

Mitron! It’s how brand fire politics is played with RSS winning over the Government and defeating it by a whisker. You bet it happens only in UP! What a signal to entire India! It’s secular free Bharat. We are tempted to think. They telling us to shut up. Now, SLB must be smiling in silence for his written song, Dishkaon in Ram-Leela has been taken seriously by his own dushmans to make it Ishqaon Yogi Dishkaon. Kya baat! Kya baat! Kya baat! Let’s be silent! Who knows next they will ask the voice of dissent to go to Pakistan and global Indians to forget desh to migrate to our neighborhood. I am actually wondering on the new CM’s first policy: boost Pakistan’s tourism, of course. A harmless criticism and your passport to Pakistan is inked. Ab hoga bhai chara aur Samjhauta Express between India and Pakistan with the ambassador of love (Jihad) and Ghar Waapsi, Shri Yogi Aditya Nath.

Munch ladoo mixed with a sprinkle of Bhakt in (tolerance) for UP Rashtra is born and sanitized with so much of Hindutva that Theresa will be mummied in pictures and not in spirit. See, she is the evil version of Lara Croft from another era. It’s now the age of Satyug the Babas way hymning Sanskritised religious hymns, Babaloo! Babaloo! Come to the divine in UP. A minority lesson is on the way how to stay under the spell of Baba Nath’s tolerance.

The commandment of the century, secularization buri bimari and it’s clean up time in UP only with the Babas and Yogis sanitizing the state so much that Ram Gopal Verma is already thinking of shifting his Sarkar 4 from Maharashtra to UP. A new tale of a yogi Baba, donning the orange saffron robe in Sarkar 4. Whatta master stroke BJP from stealing the Sarkar right under the nose Akhilesh Bhaiya to give to Babalog. Swach UP Aabhiyaan.

Bhaiya-ji aur Behena, what did you vote for? Nath Babu is not promoting Pan Banaraswala but Baba yogi Pan with a sauce of Patanjali giving so much fun to bhaiyas and behenas that you forgot the ek dum original wali…Maya Behena. Bas, EVM ka confusion?! Trust Kabrastan and Shamshan to make it to the thesaurus.

Incorrectly correct

V