Golden rules often serve as a grim reminder and hammer us on the head now and then. It takes the form of a precious stone and a close chum that we have neglected and long forgotten as we snuggle in our personal comfort and busy in the routine existence. A simple question: Have we forgotten how to live every second of life?
It’s my home truth, I am not pushing myself out of my comfort zone to stand on the cliff’s edge. I don’t know about you. But, aware I am of not being alone and hold your breath, this post is not a personal rant. I dare you not to avoid reading this post calling off the bullshit or gyaan yours truly is doling out. First, he should practice what he preach. Indeed, it’s what I am doing right now.
There has been a slew of terrible news in my surrounding since last week and I couldn’t buckle my mind to do stuff. It’s a question that has occupied my grey cell and couldn’t evade the thoughts raging in the mind like steamy water in the kettle.
There was someone whom I knew during my school days and who succumbed to a brain tumor last week. He was an accomplished lawyer and still remember the triumphant face when he was a topper in his 12th standard. On Saturday, another bad news came where my aunt (Chachi) died at 78. What saddened me the most is the fact that she was pushed off the staircase by some thief who robbed her gold necklace and when she tripped on the stairs, her head took a hit. She stayed in the coma for 15 days. And to think that the ever smiling and gentle lady didn’t die of illness and was an independent someone who actively took care of her house and grandchildren. It makes me shudder. Just today, I hear that a 26-year-old doctor suffered a massive heart attack in the bathroom and collapsed.
There is no certainty to life. Being 37 or 26 is no age to die, so many of us would concur. At the same time, no death can be justified, young or old. But, destiny doesn’t thrive on our reasoning. Are we doing enough or living life, taking care of every single moment or breathing free? We can never know what will happen tomorrow. Slogging our ass has become an art nowadays to pay bills, procreate or settle this home or car loan. Honestly speaking, I cannot claim that I make every moment count in life.
It’s on rare occasion that I meet friends, forget about partying or going on an adventure trek. It’s been ages that I haven’t gone on a date that I have forgotten how it looks. The birthday is no reason to cheer and serves an ugly reminder, ‘You are aging and not doing enough.’ Honestly, I freak out when the birthday comes. I don’t get BPL…Bump pe Laath, anymore. My hair and beard have grown grey. The way I’ve seen the past decade, from the blissful college days, to love and break up, amazing friends, job, frustration, idleness, out of work and again an amazing job has flitted right in front of my eye. Who knows? I may not live in the next second. Tears of regret before I breathe my last. I again ask, Are you living every moment of life, claiming to be in the present and doing things that you are passionate about or it’s a drab existence? Be honest.
Facebook, selfie or Instagram uploads is no proof of happiness that someone is making the most of life. We live in the la-la-land of likes and indulge in gratification to boost our self-esteem as individuals and it’s in itself a flawed way of telling how happy or fulfilled we are. It’s a lie. There is always an issue of perception, holding the mirror to see ourselves and compare to others. The mirror boosts our ego. It’s the biggest illusion that we carry on our shoulders.
The story is classic. Study, earn money, get married, bear children and then what? We are stuck in a rut. Our sad reality! We are the product of two-faced symbolism that stands in conflict between what we desire and end up doing. Zilch! Life is a bitch. One day our tears will not compensate the missed opportunity or skip the train of wondrous life, experimenting with everything that society says No to and going on an adventure thrill with the best pals.
Just do it now. Wear this Reebok shoes, climb the muddy terrain, go on a sports adventure or fearlessly walk to this super hot woman and ask her out. Fine! You may be rejected but at least try. Go and pursue your dreams for it’s never too late. Stop thinking and go on a fling with someone or have the most amazing sex without wearing a guilty conscience. Ok! I am exaggerating here and not saying to be rambunctious. You may not want to do bungee jumpee, sleep with someone out of the blue or do sports adventure but dare to live in every moment, bring joy and do things you’ve always inspired to.
For me it is being back to India, write the novel and make a short film.
It’s never too late but a day will come when it will be too late.
This post is written as part of this prompt (Fiction + personal), Choice of words,#QuotedStories, Follow your heart but take your brain with you – Alfred Adler hosted by Upasna and Rohan.
I climbed the stairs, intrigued by the sweet and enticing voice trudging but as I raced my way upstairs to close on her heels, she was disappearing by the minute. The mysterious voice held me in its spell and I was enamored by the lullaby. My soul was captivated by this unknown force that kept pulling me in her direction.
My legs were numb and stood paralyzed but nothing could stop me. I was in short of breath and sweated profusely. The alley was dark and the staircase deserted. I was determined to unravel her identity. A strange feeling encapsulated me that her voice echoed a sense of familiarity that we’ve met since ages in another world. This sensation ran deep down my spine and it pulled me towards her. I couldn’t think properly. This was the last thing that I could do. Perhaps, I was listening to an inner voice that wouldn’t give a damn to reason. I knew that I was treading a dangerous path. But, who cares!
I inched within a distance of her shadow as I neared the white coated wall and wooden door. I searched thoroughly for her. She was nowhere to be seen. It was an enigma of sort. Maybe, life’s greatest illusion. For me, she was life. I was prepared to spend the rest of my life with her. My heart was beating unusually fast and stood paralyzed with fear. It was now or never, I told myself. In all these years, I lived in constant fear. But, not anymore even if death crossed my path.
I pushed the door with all my might, banging it with my fist and body which made it open wide on the terrace and suddenly an unknown force flung my body, propelled by the wind towards the edge. I felt like a bird flying in the blue sky and flitting past the crystal clear cloud. The voice has brusquely stopped. I looked around but this place looked eerie. I was standing on the crossroad of life-and-death, my feet firmly entrenched on the roof’s end of the skyrise. My head was spinning as I looked down the city with its inhabitants and cars becoming smaller with lights moving faster than the corner of my eyes. My vision blurred. Suddenly, my eye struck on a banner lying upside down on the huge and sprawling jamun tree: Follow your heart but take your brain with you – Alfred Adler
I often wonder, what if one has to choose between the heart and the head for it’s impossible for someone to carry both with them in this big world of thinking. It’s like the analogy of who came first, egg or chicken. The short story above is an analogy of sort on what keeps raging inside my head when I take decisions. I always trust my intuition and decide on the spur of the moment. I have been designed like that only: The head or logic has never been my strongest point. I am someone who always thinks with the heart. My high point of argument: If we had no heart to feel the pain, love or making decisions, the head would never exist. This quote by Alfred Adler about following the heart but taking the brain along is quite tricky, complex and subjective. I can’t recall a single time when I haven’t followed my heart. It hasn’t resulted in the best decision of my life which often has led in hurting myself. I have left several jobs without thinking of its implications or weighing the consequences such as payment of loans and EMI or my own expenses. Trust me, it was the roughest patch in life where I didn’t have money to buy a single cigarette stick for myself and broke my own piggy bank for daily survival.
I can’t recall a single time when I haven’t followed my heart. It hasn’t resulted in the best decision of my life which often has led in hurting myself. I have left several jobs without thinking of its implications or weighing the consequences such as payment of loans and EMI or my own expenses. Trust me, it was the roughest patch in life where I didn’t have money to buy a single cigarette stick for myself and broke my own piggy bank for daily survival.
Still, I shall tell you it was the best decision that I ever took in life for following my heart and ended up being in a fix taught me hell lot about resilience, patience and going with the flow. It helped to refine and define myself as a person. At the end of the day, I will always choose to follow my heart rather than carrying the head along. I am planning to for an iPhone 7 and logic would tell that it’s stupid to throw away so much money out of the window. But, I am someone who toil real hard for my money and why the fuck give too much importance to pricey logic. Life is short. Treat yourself well for it’s you and no one else deserve the good and bad things in equal measure.
A strangely beautiful sight is capturing my soul and sight since the past few days at night fall and sunset times outside the window. It makes me wonder how I missed watching the beautiful sky that invites itself every single day and it’s something that has eluded me. Blame it on us humans on how rarely we pause to watch the power energy that flows and wilfully ignore nature in our humdrum of daily life.
It caught me by surprise. It was one evening when I was struck by the beautiful blue sky that I dashed outside and took a stroll to admire it. It’s pure bliss. Somehow, it transported me back to my Mumbai days when I would walk at Marine Drive and sat on the parapet to fix my eyes on the sky and sunset in the evening. It was such a magical feeling. It has since come back since yesterday.
We tend to run from pillar to post to get things done. We often forget how pristine beautiful nature is, flowers, sky, mountains, sea, stars that offer stillness and soothes the senses. A tale of counting our blessings in the sky. The magnificent view is so aesthetically divine that I took the digi Kodak camera to shoot the sky in all its shining form. It’s the true sparkle of life. How many of us have taken the time to walk at a leisure pace and stop for a while to admire the beautiful scenery? I bet, very few of us do that. It works wonder to the soul. Trust me on that.
It’s a routine exercise that we should do every day to combat the drudgery of life, be it disappointments, emotional upheaval or illness that sucks our core energy. We are so much consumed by a life that pushes us to the extreme that happiness looming large is often ignored and we focus on negativity. We hardly take the time to stop for a while, walk a bit and contemplate on our day. One thing that I would love to do is to pull out a chair and sit in the open to breathe fresh air, let the energy flow kiss my face and gently stroke my soul. I am guilty as charged for rarely or never do that. Or, standing tall and still, meditate in the open, caress the tender flowers and bask in the sun’s glory. It can be so empowering and usher in joy. Love couldn’t come in more powerful force than that. It’s all around us.
I am fascinated how a sparkle from the sky can rekindle so many happy memories and evoke the distant past when I was a carefree young man, reveling in the beauty of the atmosphere, strolling my way in Mumbai. It was during visits to the house of Parsi family friends at Mumbai Central during the sunny evenings where one could hear the whistle of the pressure cooker and watching kids playing football and cricket in jest as the sunset crept in. What pure moments! It felt like munching Britannia Magic biscuits. The emotions of sitting or standing still, in one’s own company and enjoying every second of life as if the sky is sprinkling its blessings on us. It soothes us and gives a sense of calm to one’s emotions and soul.
We often forget how to live every single moment of life but it comes as no surprise that nature and heaven join forces to remind us that we are seekers who long for happiness far away when it’s right in front of us. The ability to capture emotions is hidden inside us and many mortals find it in writing, photography or imagination but perhaps, emotions only need to be conveyed through senses, eyes expressions and feelings transported in the atmosphere.