#QuotedStories6: ‘Losing everything is not the end of the road’

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This post is written as part of ‘#QuotedStories linky party #6′ and on the quote, “Sometimes It takes losing everything, you have to finally grow and find yourself’ given by Upasna. The prompt is hosted by Upasna and Rohan. It’s a piece of fiction but which is a reality bite in it for all of us. Thank you Upasna for the inspiration and Rohan for encouraging us to beat the block. You folks rock.

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#QuotedStories6: ‘Losing everything is not the end of the road’

‘Stop running. You are not a rat,’ the seer told me. ‘You have come to me so that I pacify your heart and tell that you shall overcome everything and rise from the ashes like the Phoenix film star beating dozen villains on-screen. What if I told you that you will fail and will be stuck till your dead-end?”

I stared at the religious man. He smirked at me. “You are seeking validation, right now. Fooling oneself is the mark of cowards. All odds are stacked against you, I agree. The truth is that your soul is tired and cannot accept failure since you are wearing the blinker of past success. The only miracle that you deserve is a good kick in the bum.”

The baba is hallucinating. He must be snorting cocaine, I was convinced. He gently held my hand, “No son, I have not gone bonkers. You are angry. I can see it into your eyes. Your past is haunting you. The present is making you a coward. The feeling of the future slipping away from your hand is a sign of insecurity gnawing every thread in your body. Be truthful to your own self. There is no need to seek validation from the world. Bury the past. Have the guts.”

He was firm but filled with compassion at the same time. The wind fluttered. A smooth breeze ruffled my hair. I could feel that things are changing. Suddenly, I feel a dash of positivity. There was an inherent conviction that I have been doing things the wrong way where my soul is tired and battered.

“Where are you?, the holy man asked. “Prisoner of your thought. The past relationships and rejections are hurting you because things are not going your way. We don’t have the power to flesh things in a planned structure.” It was the truth. I knew that. The guiding light is shining on me. I loved and lost. The entire blocks that I laid to be successful were crumbling like the bricks from the sky rise and washed by the heavy rains. I am this building constructed with pain and it is being slowly wiped off the ground. The time is now to do things differently.

He read my thought. “There is a change in your body language. It’s the call of the soul which is giving you perspective of things to unfurl right in front of you. Change is happening. You are the light. Be the warrior of change. In the past life, your ship was wrecked and you swam against the tide but the stormy water claimed you. There is a reason why every day, you come and sit here by the sea here. It’s the same water that took you away. You died a hero as the ship’s captain.”

My head was spinning and the body twirled off the shaky ground. I felt a jab on my chest and collapsed. Water sprinkled on my face. I slowly opened my eyes to see the slim spiritual man, twitching his mustache and smiling tenderly at me, “Son! You are blessed and got a second life. Value it. Start all over again.”

“Sometimes it takes losing everything, you have to finally grow and find yourself,” he walked away from me. I slowly got up and trudged towards my destination. I was going to start all over like a new-born and forgetting everything that occurred to me. I have given up living in the past.

Love

V

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#QuotedStories #4: Lost voice in the art of silence

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This post is written as part of #QuotedStories  #4 hosted by Rohan and Upasna on their blogs. I choose to combine the two quotes to make it into fiction:

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute

-Josh Billings

 

Disclaimer: The post below is a work of fiction that doesn’t have the slightest bearing on my life and the people surrounding me. Trust me, I have broken up in the past with kisses and pain but on very healthy terms. Of course, my friends are the most wonderful thing that happened to me and am forever grateful to them. Truly blessed I am to have them in my life.

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#QuotedStories: Lost voice in the art of silence

It’s the story of my break up. I choose to stay muted and silent at the rocket of accusations flung on me. I stood there and faced the accusations that felt like sniper during war. My eyes conveyed sadness and hurt that spoke a thousand words. I choose silence as the weapon to defend myself. It was her choice to listen to strangers who wanted to drift us apart. I stood accused in the courtroom prosecuted and judged by her. Who says that I didn’t have any defense to put my best arguments forward? It was the silence. I choose silence to refute the balls of fire thrown at me. It was my best defense.

Don’t they say, silence is the best weapon. I let her speak for I was convinced that her fury wouldn’t subside. It was like the fire ravaging my soul. She would be satisfied only after ripping me apart, emasculated my dignity as a lover, man, and human. The hell-bent conviction to bring me down and insult me in front of everyone, my friends and her gang made her the victor. She hated it when her ego was bruised.

The weapon in her hand was my silence which echoed guilt to her eyes and the anger that rose and spiraled inside her. Every single thing that happened between us was brought in the open. But, I knew that she was going to lose her force and the anger that boiled inside her would be doused like fire. It’s my silence, right. There is no winner or loser in a relationship. The silence has empowered me and slowly, nursed the wounds, scars and bruise that cut and bled through my veins.

There was another reason for me to remain silent. It was not her. My friends who knew the truth. They choose to remain like mute spectators and it hurt me the most. Silence can be a weapon and sow the seed of destruction at the same time. Not that I need them as a shield to justify myself. Pack of lies was told. They were my own who knew the sacred truth but they chose to dishonor it. It was not their words that mattered but silence. It’s their right. It hurts the most when your own choose to be spectators when you are disrobed in an open court. They were my pride and ego. Their silence was the one thing that hurt more than she did. She was a victim of falsehood and manipulation. But, they were not. Not a single word. My friends! The weapon that pierced my heart and soul bore their names.

The gentle and still seas at night become stormy and turn into a whirlwind at the sight of the high tide to defend its occupants. Don’t they say, the high tide lifts all boats!

Love

V

#Quotedstories: Words that hurts and heals

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The tongue is a ruthless weapon. The power to lash in moments of anger where no one is spared and once the storm has subsided, the mountain of regret can plague us throughout the rest of our life. After all, who says that words don’t kill?

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It doesn’t take a second or minute to break a friendship or relationship by spewing venom through the sheer force of our words that hurt in places that no deadly weapon can. We are humans. We get angry. While we end up saying things on the spur of the moment, little do we realize how we cannot take back the words that stab on the unlikeliest of places. It wounds the soul and its a burden that we can carry till the grave. Negative energy flows in. It can harm us for the rest of our lives. It carries such negative energy that can make us hit a dead-end and no matter what we undertake in life, it can turn us into failures. Have you wondered why? Words.

It happened with me in the past. I ended up saying things to an irritating friend whom I never liked in our gang. In fact, both of us hated each other and there was so much anger brewing inside me. Once, I was running a high fever and was weak when he wrote something on my wall in Orkut. I responded with insults calling his brainless and much more. I couldn’t hold myself and wrongly thought that insulting him would mean a victory to me. It was wrong. I know. But, luckily, as time passed, he reached out to me on FB and suggested that we make fresh beginnings. Like he said, both of us were immature at that point. It made sense to me.  Such closure can empower you, trust me.

It was not the first instance and it happened with the crush I was madly in love with. Words were not exchanged but my behavior of avoiding her and turning my face away from her when we met blew the friendship off. As college was getting over, I refused to write in her scrapbook. I was guilty. On the same day, she sent an SMS, where I was reproached about my behavior. There was a guilt that would never leave me in peace and it took me 10 years to say sorry to her last year. She was very sweet to me. I guess with time, we all change and can be mature in handling our relationships with the ones we love and who will always hold a special place in our hearts.

As I look back, I could have handled things in a better manner by getting rid of my ego or for that matter, take a deep breath and do other things. That way, I would no longer be angry to utter words that cannot be taken way. Once the words are spelled, it’s doom. It’s true we can be forgiven but words uttered can never be forgotten. I think that meditation can help us a lot to be calmer and avoid telling things that we wouldn’t mean in a moment of fury. Why bruise the soul and carry a burden that will harm us? It’s not the way to grow as humans. Like someone once said, it takes years to build a friendship but it hardly takes time to break it apart.

Take a break, take a Kit Kat! What better way to let sweetness flow through the tongue rather than trading words that hurt. If we have to unleash the tongue, spread happiness, laughter and sweetness that will make us healers and make a soulful experience to fellow travelers in this journey. I wouldn’t say to be careful with words for it puts too much burden on us but to adorn them like the flowers sprouting in your garden. You wouldn’t like the thorns to prick you, right!

Once the doom is spread through your words, there is no power on earth that can help to vanquish them in the air. Words are the sword that pierces us in the unlikeliest of places and perhaps, more powerful than a bullet. It may be forgiven with time but forgetting them is no easy task. Next time, you are feeling angry, take a deep breath and go onto self-introspection or a walk. Let the angst or frustration filter. Be in control. Have a sweet meat. Let it swirl in the tongue and gently caressing your soul.

This post is written based on this quote, Be Careful with your words, once they are said, they can be forgiven but not forgotten’-Carl Sandburg. I am linking it with #Quotedstories by Upasana & Rohan.

Love

V

 

 

 

Love

V

 

Choice of words: #QuotedStories

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This post is written as part of this prompt (Fiction + personal), Choice of words,#QuotedStories, Follow your heart but take your brain with you – Alfred Adler hosted by Upasna and Rohan.

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I climbed the stairs, intrigued by the sweet and enticing voice trudging but as I raced my way upstairs to close on her heels, she was disappearing by the minute. The mysterious voice held me in its spell and I was enamored by the lullaby. My soul was captivated by this unknown force that kept pulling me in her direction.

My legs were numb and stood paralyzed but nothing could stop me. I was in short of breath and sweated profusely. The alley was dark and the staircase deserted. I was determined to unravel her identity. A strange feeling encapsulated me that her voice echoed a sense of familiarity that we’ve met since ages in another world. This sensation ran deep down my spine and it pulled me towards her. I couldn’t think properly. This was the last thing that I could do. Perhaps, I was listening to an inner voice that wouldn’t give a damn to reason. I knew that I was treading a dangerous path. But, who cares!

I inched within a distance of her shadow as I neared the white coated wall and wooden door. I searched thoroughly for her. She was nowhere to be seen. It was an enigma of sort. Maybe, life’s greatest illusion. For me, she was life. I was prepared to spend the rest of my life with her. My heart was beating unusually fast and stood paralyzed with fear. It was now or never, I told myself. In all these years, I lived in constant fear. But, not anymore even if death crossed my path.

I pushed the door with all my might, banging it with my fist and body which made it open wide on the terrace and suddenly an unknown force flung my body, propelled by the wind towards the edge. I felt like a bird flying in the blue sky and flitting past the crystal clear cloud.  The voice has brusquely stopped. I looked around but this place looked eerie. I was standing on the crossroad of life-and-death, my feet firmly entrenched on the roof’s end of the skyrise. My head was spinning as I looked down the city with its inhabitants and cars becoming smaller with lights moving faster than the corner of my eyes. My vision blurred. Suddenly, my eye struck on a banner lying upside down on the huge and sprawling jamun tree: Follow your heart but take your brain with you – Alfred Adler

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I often wonder, what if one has to choose between the heart and the head for it’s impossible for someone to carry both with them in this big world of thinking.  It’s like the analogy of who came first, egg or chicken. The short story above is an analogy of sort on what keeps raging inside my head when I take decisions. I always trust my intuition and decide on the spur of the moment. I have been designed like that only: The head or logic has never been my strongest point.  I am someone who always thinks with the heart. My high point of argument: If we had no heart to feel the pain, love or making decisions, the head would never exist. This quote by Alfred Adler about following the heart but taking the brain along is quite tricky, complex and subjective. I can’t recall a single time when I haven’t followed my heart. It hasn’t resulted in the best decision of my life which often has led in hurting myself. I have left several jobs without thinking of its implications or weighing the consequences such as payment of loans and EMI or my own expenses. Trust me, it was the roughest patch in life where I didn’t have money to buy a single cigarette stick for myself and broke my own piggy bank for daily survival.

I can’t recall a single time when I haven’t followed my heart. It hasn’t resulted in the best decision of my life which often has led in hurting myself. I have left several jobs without thinking of its implications or weighing the consequences such as payment of loans and EMI or my own expenses. Trust me, it was the roughest patch in life where I didn’t have money to buy a single cigarette stick for myself and broke my own piggy bank for daily survival.

Still, I shall tell you it was the best decision that I ever took in life for following my heart and ended up being in a fix taught me hell lot about resilience, patience and going with the flow. It helped to refine and define myself as a person. At the end of the day, I will always choose to follow my heart rather than carrying the head along. I am planning to for an iPhone 7 and logic would tell that it’s stupid to throw away so much money out of the window. But, I am someone who toil real hard for my money and why the fuck give too much importance to pricey logic. Life is short. Treat yourself well for it’s you and no one else deserve the good and bad things in equal measure.

Love

V