Unrealism of love


You gonna smell the rat;

Poisonous love;

Twirling of fingers;

Pure bliss;

Cavernous alley;

Seeker lost inside the labyrinth;

Treachery path;

Love can take us to the dark alley,

seeking the God of love;

Watering down to illusion;

It’s the mind playing havoc;

No love ain’t too big to lose the self;

Worshipping the obsessed hearts,

whom death couldn’t do them part;

Poetic justice;

Happens only in the after thought,

and garden of Eden and Eve;

Love can be unreal;

The unrealism hold it’s force;

The might of love;

Love

V

Sab mil ke khele Holi


Image sourced from Google.

 

 

Bhaiya,Sab mil ke holi khele.

Yeh khushiyan ka tyohar.

Duniya ke anek rang.

Gulal ka kamaal.

Bura mat mano.

Holi hai bhai.

Hum toh holi khelenge.

Cher char.

Bhaiya hai hum.

Bheegi teri choli.

Anek rang.

Hum saab ek hai.

Na koi jaat na koi dharm.

Bas apne dhun mein magan.

Khelo holi dil se.

Ek hi pehchaan hai,

Hindustani.

Mauj masti ke rang.

Rang bhar ke,

dil se dil jod de.

Holi ke anek shubh kaamn.

V

 

 

 

Youth ki Awaaz: Celebrate Equality and not Tokenism


Hola people,

I wrote this piece on Youth Ki Awaaz on the International Women Day, ‘Celebrate Equality and not Tokenism’ and you can write an excerpt below. Click on the link to read the full piece.

 

Every March 8, we celebrate International Women Day where we pitch for change in the way we view women and tweet with hashtags for equality or respect and share massively on Facebook. Isn’t it time for us, men and women to move beyond mere tokenism and implement the changes that we want to see? Certainly, it demands a change in our mindset and courage to be able to stand for our women, against our elders, or for that matter, let her bloom as a human being.

I want to narrate what some of my female friends shared with me. After she got married, one of my friends told me how her in-laws tried to impose their cultural practice on her taking into account that both she and her husband belong to different castes. She gathered her strength and put her foot down. Really! It’s one thing that we fail to understand that a girl has left her home and parents to adjust to a new life and how we stifle her individuality by enforcing such ridiculous and stone aged practice.

Read the full article here.

Writer’s mind


Writer!

Oh! Writer! Living in his own imaginative world.

Love, hate, passion, break up and sentimentality!

The orgasm of words faked.

It’s kitsch!

Dream-seller!

Stack of lies.

How proud I am of him?

Prophet of doom.

Lyrical expression,

singing the tale of ‘ideal’ romance.

Never mess with them;

Making a fool of yourself is the next course;

You shall never know!

Laugh at your own self.

Pointless ranting.

It’s art on canvas of the mind.

Sexy and glam.

Love

V

 

 

 

 

 

She was…she is


Image source: Google/http://th25.st.depositphotos.com/1263399/7408/v/450/depositphotos_74080805-stock-illustration-crowd-of-indian-women-avatar.jpg

She’s a toddler;

She was fully clad and a medical science student;

An independent woman.

Hailing from a village:

A homemaker;

A farmer’s wife;

She walked straight to her home;

She hummed a song;

She was raped, sexually assaulted and ignored the leered glances;

Lewd comments:

Of course!

She asked for it:

For how long, you will stand as a mute spectator!

Blame her for everything!

You spineless coward!

She is the one who should take care of the kitchen,

keep in-laws happy,

and be ready for sex at your will;

She is a good and dutiful wife;

In your books!

Show me who wrote this crap!

And, you worship her form in temples!

All you want is sacrifice!

Right!

Your stupid mentality!

Screw your rules of ‘good wives don’t kiss and tell’,

blame husband no matter how good and bad;

Keep walking!

For you chose to let her walk alone!

A long marriage for you is success!

Divorced or single woman is an open treasure trove;

Pity your intellect and empty brains;

Keep tweeting and sharing;

Happy Women’s Day!

Love

V

Indian Women and the Shaadi Conundrum offers scholarly, in-depth analysis of women issues


 

Book Review: Indian Women and the Shaadi Conundrum

Authored by: Dr Rachna Arora & Deepika Sharma

Released in 2016 by Authors press, New Delhi

Rating: Four stars

Introduction:

Today, March 8, the world celebrates International Women Day and it is important to reflect on the place held by women in society who makes several choices that defines their life, career and issues that plague them in juggling family and professional life. The book, ‘Indian Women and the Shaadi Conundrum’ assesses issues faced by women in their married life which is often dictated by a patriarchal society that treats the ‘fairer sex’ as inferior and roles they are expected to play in society. Often, religion, rites and rituals get the upper hand where women face the ire of misplaced rules in society. The author addresses several themes pertaining to relationships, expected roles for women, stereotyping and equal values which seems to wane by the day. The issues treated in the book is timeless, relevant during the bygone era, the present and the future where it seems dogmatic views has not changed an iota no matter how much we shout hoarse about equality in society. In short, ‘Indian Women and the Shaadi Conundrum’ serves as guide in terms of practicalities in offering first-hand account and is a small bible that has explored in-depth the role of woman in their married life. Let’s analyze the focal points.

Narration:

“Post marriage, my life has become miserable because of constant interference from the family members. I am expected to take permission from my in-laws before buying clothes for myself. Privacy is an alien concept in the house, as my sisters-in-law walk freely into our room at odd hours.”

Authors Dr Rachna Arora & Deepika Sharma use first-hand accounts in exploring the situation of women who often lack the support of their respective husbands in several instances and points out at the so-called happy and long-lasting marriage. Pride is taken in a society like ours where divorce is taboo. Unfortunately, many of us prefer to evade the grim reality and we proudly wear the veil of seeing everything hunky-dory but had we chosen to look behind the curtains, a box of Pandora would unveil right in front of our eyes. In this book, the right questions are asking on the role of mother in-laws in the way they treat their daughters where honest questions and assertiveness is recommended for the woman so that she is not taken for granted.

The role of extended family is also being addressed and the courtship period where the mandatory six months is recommended before a woman takes the plunge. The authors recommend on the need for a woman to put things in perspective and not succumb to the pressure of tying the knot. Oh! The famous log kya kahenge and if needed call off the engagement off if the ‘stone-aged’ influence of doggedly keeping rituals, customs and traditions arise.

What I like the most in the book is that it has several Dos and Donts, checklist on how to gauge a prospective groom and aspects where a woman can work it out or cannot compromise with in-laws. I think before getting married each and every woman must have a checklist before going ahead. The book has a must have list that addresses pressing issues such as a realistic approach to marriage, knowledge about laws and legal rights and financial security, among others.

The uniqueness of women should be celebrated in all its forms and it whittle down to personal choice. The hair style, choice of jewellery, weight or shopping shouldn’t be a matter of seeking approval on the eve of marriage. These are simple things but something which the authors deemed right to remind women whose individuality are often lost in translation.

The book points out at life post marriage where a woman suddenly finds herself at the cross-road with labels such as bhabhi, devrani or jaithani. A strong message is sent: Treat us like a daughter and give equal treatment. The main points are often on the need for a daughter in law (DIL) to be answerable and boosting the image of an ideal bahu or the fact, she will learn and manage on her own. The authors explore the various issues and discuss communications as an effective tool for a healthy relationship. It’s about the need to engage directly with in-laws and be assertive when things go awry. It’s important to accept new relations which is often tough, taking into account that a girl is leaving her comfort zone and ‘privileges’ at home. It’s a two-way traffic, I’d argue. Be assertive and learn to say No matters above everything else not to crush the self or individuality.

A whole chapter is devoted to patriarchal nature of society where the father-in-law expects his morning tea and owing to the protocol for DIL in India, whose parents never get special treatment. It serves as a great contrast, as the authors rightly figure it out, how women don’t make demands to the Jamai Saab. It’s a tragedy in today’s time how parochial and patriarchal our society is ingrained in rules dating back to the dark age. Or, the preconceived notion when it comes to arranged marriage where the woman is controlling the man and this cliché that she is too independent.

There are passages like, ‘The girl is too cunning, that is, why she has brainwashed our son… He chooses a girl he loves, she would not want to live with us after marriage…This boy is married to a girl from the hills. These girls are so cunning and into black magic…He has married a different culture girl, these girls are mithi churi.’ Sounds familiar!

In the chapter, ‘Self-Empowerment: The Key to Happiness’, the authors points at common stereotypes where women grew up with rules such as women don’t laugh loudly, a shame to play sports, your rightful place is in the four corners of the home or a woman is respected after marriage because of her husband.

The authors make a great pitch for parents to instill equal values among girls, urging her to say no, curfew applying for both women and men as well as addressing the much-dreaded menstruation which is treated as taboo. It’s no secret in many homes girls going through menses are treated like outcasts and it’s time to throw out such illogical and ridiculous practice where society, albeit parents are to be majorly blamed. A woman going through menses is a normal being.

The authors devote an entire page in the form of a chapter to in-laws, reminding them of shared efforts in a household which is not the sole domain of a woman, the need for reciprocal relationships, keeping a check on personal boundaries and avoiding comparisons. It’s much-needed tips for parents-in-law in today’s times.

The husband or hubby to be is also urged to take a stand for women and it’s his responsibility as an equal partner to voice out against social injustice or helping during the adjustment period.

What’s Not!

Honestly, I am not going that route in pointing out at flaws in the book since it’s a scholarly product where the authors have used extensive survey, much to their credit and case studies to support their claim on something obvious. It’s a worrying aspect in the way we treat women as second-class citizens after marriage where she is expected to fulfill social obligations without reasoning.

Final words:

The work of authors Dr Rachna Arora & Deepika Sharma in Indian Women and the Shaadi Conundrum must be lauded for their in-depth analysis and critically assessing the position of women in the marriage sphere. This book should serve as a reference point for organizations such as National Commission for Women and the case studies as a guide in drafting legislations to protect women, upholding their rights in society. A brilliantly explored scholar work that serve as a guide to the Government, academic institutions, NGOs and helping to spread awareness, raise mass consciousness and educate. Full marks to the authors for urging us to question rules that discriminate against fellow human beings. Such nonsensical rules should not only be questioned but chucked out. It’s written in a simple and direct language, that makes it easy to understand minus technical jargons. Go and grab it.

PS: The book has been given to me for review by the authors through my good friend, poet and author Soumya Mohanty Vilekar. You can buy the book on Amazon and check out more on Goodreads.

V

Life is like a MoMo!


The year started on a roll and it felt like munching on one of my favorite snacks, the Nepali Momo. It was a bang on start, opening up newly chartered avenues to explore where I suddenly found myself holding corporate media training for one of our clients. It’s been a superb learning experience and foraying into one area considered ‘huge’ in countries like India, Europe and the states. I was toying with the idea to write this post for a  very long time but having the time now only. It’s been the year of change where good things fell on your lap and you keep working hard, determined and persevere in raising the bar higher.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/0d/94/dc/0d94dccd09a759de4d4635fde33f353f.jpg

Image credit: Google.

I am never tired of saying it: I am in a very happy space and working from here is a dream come true. Not in my wildest fantasy, I could ever think of being a stay-at-home dude and earning decently fine money as a consultant and freelance writer, getting to explore new arenas that are alien to me. Indeed, it’s such a huge opportunity where one should learn never to say No to huge challenges coming one’s way.

It started on January 7 when we gotta train corporate leaders for a one-day seminar and before that, meeting with the team ensured and discussion how to proceed further. We watched videos on YouTube comparing the interviews of figures like Donald Trump and Nicolas Sarkozy, studying their body languages in televised interviews spanning over one year or even five years, for that matter. For instance, Donald Trump present avatar is the result of media training where he is more aware than he was perhaps, five years back. It’s one niche area where you can earn big time and I did so for the one-day training. Nowadays, corporates engaging with the media are more and more willing to hire a firm or set of individuals offering media training services. Being a journalist, I have dealt a lot with different kind of people and my ground experience helped me a lot during the presentation.

I have always been scared of public speaking and this form of media training helped me battle my inner demons as well as giving me cues to work on my weaknesses as a professional. I need to be more composed and learn to speak slowly, something that demands lots of hard work. Hold your breath, Vishal! It’s something that I am very keen to work on and intend to hone my craft by taking courses to further explore this field, which in turn, will help me make the moolah by offering my services. One should never shy away from re-inventing the self in today’s global world for we are all brands and I have every intention to be one, from journalism, freelance writing to blogger and now, consultant.

The second most amazing news happened very much earlier during the year and it was something I wasn’t aware at all since I have been off major social media like Facebook where I deactivated my account temp for a break as well as the fact of turning timidly shy on Twitter. It happened through the blog. I am amazed how blogging can do wonder and justice to your writing skills. Yes! Huff Post India covered me, or if you want, my blog on January 4. It happened one day at random clicking on blog stats and referrals. I randomly clicked the link and wondering why Huff Post link would appear on my blog. It was accidental and purely by chance that I did the whole thing. Just imagine my surprise, feeling as if winning the lottery jackpot. It was last year when an author contacted me on Facebook for the brief review of her book: Sonal Gupta Bewafa Nahin Hai/I am not a Betrayer. Like it often happens with me, once I do a review, I never go back to the post or reading it now and then. It was the biggest candid or surprise celebrity moment of being featured by something as big as Huff Post India. Check the link here.

Life comes full circle when you least expect. There were superb moments and minuses, too like my India travel postponed. Hopefully, it should happen soon. On the eve of the media training, I got new spectacles which I ordered through my friend Meghna from Mumbai since the country I am based it is shit expensive. It couldn’t be a better start to the year. I am also enjoying my regular yoga class with the same Guru I’ve been for four years and do practice thrice a week at home. Guru-ji always jokes that he has taught me for long but I always forget the steps.

Chal! I shall leave you and wish Happy Monday.

V