On the move with Divya Kapoor, author of ‘Love Has Its Various Ways’


Traveler, journalist, teacher, translator, life coach and tarot reader, author Divya Kapoor of ‘Love Has Its Various Ways’ is all that. The author is a firm believer in Reiki and Tarot Reading which she learned while pursuing her mass communications degree. She believes that life is a mystery and we have all come in this world to unravel it. Divya Kapoor says that her inclination to the ways of the universe started when she discovered her inborn talent of signature reading and the rare gift of insight and healing powers. The author of #lovehasitsvariousways is an EFT practitioner and holds a Masters in travel journalism on account of her passion for discovering new places that excites her.

Author Divya Kapoor

In this heart to heart chat on her book, #lovehasitsvariousways #divyakapoor25 speaks about the healing powers of love which can heal someone to fight depression and beyond. Being a ‘traveler’, the author announces that her next book will be about travel. You can visit Divya website here. You can also check and follow her blog here.

 Your book, Love Has Its Various Ways is targeted at people to empower them to become their own life coaches? How important, according to you, is the need to treat the relevance of coaching, self-growth, and development in todays world?

Yes, that’s what the book is about: Unleashing the Power Within. My own experience has helped me understand that life is all about growing and creating yourself. I have done a lot of courses for personal growth such as Reiki, healing, EFT, NLP and much more. With every course done, I learned something new in the path of self-discovery.  I believe that life is about growing and changing. Therefore, such courses help us to discover ourselves, become emotionally stronger and healthier as it is the way to reach our inner journey

Is the book a mirror image of your real life experience in the way you dealt with things on a personal and professional level? Can you give an insight of your learning that you injected in the book?

Yes, I have written this book from the perspective of my life experiences. When I was going through depression and personal setbacks, I didn’t have much help as I didn’t know how to express what was happening. My biggest help was the book “You can heal your life” by Louise Hay which is an amazing guidebook. At the age of 17, I searched for my life’s purpose following the setbacks and every time I learned something, I tried to pen it down in a bid to remember what the experiences taught me.

Sooner, I stopped searching for purpose as I figured that everything is love and if I can become complete love, I can radiate it and heal people through my writing, my experiences and words.

Today, there is a host of coaches such as Robin Sharma who teaches several processes to reach sky elevated growth and in this context, what is the USP of Love has its Various Ways’?

Yes, Robin Sharma is really inspirational and I have followed him for a while. The USP of my book is to solely find love within. The exercises make you come into your own, where you embrace your shit, calling spade a spade to find your inner truth and in the process become love rather than being an element to hurt yourself and others.

You are also a journalist who served in one of the leading newspapers in India Hindustan Times. To what extent has your interaction with people changed your life and found expression in the scripting of the book?

Yes, I worked as a freelancer for Inner Voice, HT and did my internship in journalism. I think that every day there was something new about people who I marveled at or which triggered me within. Over the time, I understood that the triggers were my issue, not theirs and I started working on them rather than working on the projection which is the outside world. One peculiar thing I have learned about people is being scared to be themselves, building an armor to protect them as they feel unsafe and afraid to let go of their comfort area.

Writer, language trainer, Life Coach NLP and EFT Practitioner, how do you juggle everything and to what extent it has helped you to grow as a person?

I don’t juggle, as I have stepped from one thing to another. I believe there are so many things to learn and practice and one needs to keep growing. Writing and training are my passion and all the other things are tools for to execute my passion.

In your book, you also spoke about a step-by-step approach to an 11-day workbook. Can you tell us about your experience with this process and how tough it is to go through this exercise for an average person in the quest to attain transformation?

Yes, after writing the book I felt it’s important for readers to incorporate the learnings in their everyday life. The workbook isn’t difficult to implement but it just needs commitment and complete surrender to the teachings. My own journey has been about being too scared to surrender to the universe. So, I believe that dropping the armor and surrendering is a difficult part and once you are able to overcome it, you are on the journey to retrain your brain.

You have the best of both worlds, in countries such as India, Colombia, and Spain. How has exposure to various cultures helped to shape you as a person?

It has been amazing to travel and live among different cultures but surprisingly all the countries I have visited and lived in boast of a rich and huge family culture as well as having a fetish for food which is similar to India. It helped me to adapt and become more of myself 100 percent without seeking acceptance from the outside world.

Can you tell us from which part of India you are and what it was like growing up in the country?

I am from New Delhi. I am from a grounded family. I love my city and have been blessed with an amazing and loving family who have always encouraged me to become more of myself. I believe that I am always going to be a delhite the way that I love driving around, marveling at the culture, being inspired by the intricate tomb designs, indulging in street food, shopping, and everything. Delhi is multicultural, full of heritage and every day tells a new story.

What is the role that a life coach and self-help books can play in the transformation of a person?

I think that a life-coach and a self-help book can transform your life. As I said in the book, “You can heal your life” and it showed me the way to come out of depression and lead a healthier life.  Books and people have immense power and it’s all about choosing and letting things guide you. What resonates with you is your truth. Through this book, I want to create leaders where I want the people to feel the power of my words and allow themselves to grow.

The last question: As an energy form, can love heal or it goes much beyond that as a powerful medium for growth?

Love is the ultimate truth. It is the most positive and highest form of energy. It heals everything and everyone. It’s the most powerful tool you can have. So, work on breaking all the barriers you have built against love as Rumi says, “What you are seeking is seeking you”. Be open to love and the healing power.

Love

V

Embrace of the wind


Subtle breeze brings a comfort that runs through the soul

Admiring the drops in the ocean

Friendly gaze at the trees at night, silent water and sky at rest

Sitting in silence

A gentle embrace of the wind holding us in its fold

A moment of solitude that would never wane

Seeking peace within the surrounding

Walking miles to pluck cherries jamoon on trees in gay abandon

A whistle is heard from afar

the wailing train’s siren signalling the last destination

It shall never be the last journey sought

 

Love

V

 

 

 

 

Leaking of Vinod Khanna’s picture, despicable trolls and privacy violation


I am angry with social media and its populace who think that everything is permissible at their whim and fancy in the online world. The trolls who make their own laws and dictate terms at the cost of someone’s privacy is the tale of a script gone horribly wrong in their quest to have a free rein and seeking cheap thrills. We often do not realize how much harm can be done to someone and their family going through a personal ordeal, or struggle when we wrongly like, share or retweet pictures.

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It was shocking to see a massively shared picture of superstar Vinod Khanna on social media where he is seen in an ailing state with his family and allegedly suffering from prostate cancer. Such insensitivity in sharing the picture with don’t know how many likes, retweets, shares and what’s not on social media is a matter of utter disbelief. I was distraught to see the picture of Vinod Sir allegedly fighting a disease and the latter still remained to be confirmed, has been reduced to ridicule. How low can we stoop as human beings? This shows a total scant of regard and lack of respect for someone and his family going through testing times. Social media have again shown its ugly face. It makes me wonder how little we realize what someone or his family goes through in the face of illness.  By mocking the person, we are making fun of every single person suffering from cancer. We should be ashamed of ourselves for indulging in such an insensitive and despicable act. The very least we could have done is to tweet the family members our best wishes for the recovery of Vinod Khanna Sir, a man who won our hearts and that of our parents as an entertainer in the business of cinema.

Mocking someone’s illness is petty. Sharing his or her picture in an ailing condition on a public forum is hitting below the belt and makes me wonder what kind of thrill people seek. We don’t realize how much it hurts the person who may not know what is going on in the outside world. A family is at the receiving end and the worse thing is the fake rumors that did the round yesterday on Whatsapp that Vinod Khanna has succumbed to cancer. The man doesn’t deserve such unkindness when he is waging a personal battle taking into account that the treatment of cancer can be traumatic. I think people who have overcome cancer can testify to this. Certainly, the people who mocked the actor’s illness wouldn’t like it if they or their family members one day go through this phase in life.

It is such a gross invasion and violation of the person’s privacy whose family wanted to stand in the same frame with him in the hospital.  It is sad not just for the person or his family who deserve empathy but the ones who leaked the picture.  It reflects on their level of education and upbringing.  What did they get in doing such a thing? Just because he is a celebrity and film actor, does he deserve such a treatment on social media?

It’s such a huge disrespect to Vinod Sir and such gimmicks on social media should be stopped. It sometimes makes me wonder on the level of freedom trolls get on social media and I honestly believe that a case should be built against them.  The actor who contributed immensely to Hindi cinema through his sheer incredible talent simply doesn’t deserve such a lack of respect. Stop sharing this picture and let the family be in peace.

Get well soon, Vinod Sir

Love

V

 

 

 

Depression and suicide: Listen, remove labels and fight it out


It sent us into a tizzy of shock when a young student, Arun Bharadwaj, sitting in a posh hotel room in Bandra and filmed a tutorial on committing suicide before throwing himself out of his window room. The man confessed how drugs and depression weighed heavily on his life and it leads one to think the extent to which he buckled under pressure to take his own life.

We live in stressful times where it is easy to pull the trigger that sends the brain into turmoil and one suddenly feels there is hardly anything one can do to fight the evil. The question one can ask is, was Arun feeling alone and whether there was no one he couldn’t reach out or relate to. Of course, I am assuming things whether there was no one to listen what he was going through and the feeling of being ‘misunderstood’ or the ‘guilt shame.’  Drugs are one such scourge that destroys lives and our youth are at its receiving end across the globe.  The saddest part is that as a society, we are so quick in judging people going through a rough patch in life and we throw the so-called moral rocket about destroying the self, bringing a bad name to the family reputation or being attention seekers.

Our society is sick. Depression is not a crime. There are so many of us who goes through it at some point or the other in life. It is very easy for us sit and criticize someone trying to find solace in drugs, thinking that it will help combat the stress that is ripping lives apart. As I said, in today’s times of running against time to outwit the other in this ‘silly’ competitive world, we tend to ruthlessly face the brunt of society. It is a natural tendency to feel wanted and prove to the world our worth. We feel ignored when things doesn’t go our way and many of us resort to drugs for it’s an assumed medium to hit back at society that excludes people. Validation shouldn’t be sought only on social media channels but warm human interactions.

It is very important to educate our own self and the surroundings on the need to stop labeling people and stay away from criticizing someone who is going through hell. What a person needs is a shoulder to lean on but more so to listen to them. How do we do that? Let the person speak and touch him gently in ways that he will speak without the fear of being judged in society. I think it matters more than anything else. There is a gentle way to convince them to come out in the open and vent out what is suffocating them inside. It is important to check on someone who will try to hide things by putting a brave smile and never let them be alone on their own. True, we do fight our lone battles in life. But, there are times when we will feel vulnerable and that’s how our loved and dear ones can offer their helping hands in keeping a close eye on us and step in if our behavior is worrisome.

Depression is gender-neutral and lacks caste or class bias which can affect anyone in varying ways. There is always the misconception that someone who doesn’t lack the means is safe and that this evil will not affect them. It’s not true at all. The case in point is public celebrity Deepika Padukone who choose to come in the open and was also part of a TV program together with her Doctor who explained it so well. It is high time we remove our conceptions, be it on depression or the scourge of drugs who are destroying our youth and injecting death to them at an age where they should dare to dream and make it bigger in the world.

The death of the young man Arun Bharadwaj is something that scared us in the way in which death and suicide were committed. No, friends, there is nothing ‘glamorous, daring or death-defying’ in killing the self. I am not judging him because I don’t know what he has gone through when his dreams were waiting for him. Always remember, if you are going through depression, seek help not necessarily from psychiatrists but your closed ones and postpone suicidal tendency. Be a real life hero in cheating death like our heroes on celluloid.

Love

V

 

 

Pune Memoirs (Part 2): Love and friendship (4)


Pune Memoirs: Second Year 2004/05

There are a couple of incidents that took shape to refine, define and reinvent yours truly in the second year spent in Pune.  It turned to be one of the most blissful years as I learned to open up and make new friends by moving out of my comfort zone, flitting between being more an extrovert than the introvert that I am by nature. It was my participation as a volunteer in our biggest college festival, Oorja at Fergusson college that helped me to open up and make new friends.

It was the time where things ranged from being hilariously funny to bonding with mates and flirting with danger, traveling with a drunk dude on his bike. I was in SYBA, the time for the major crush on someone and getting so much used to her, between waking up each other every morning to attend lectures and hanging together. We also clicked several pictures in college one Saturday afternoon, walking throughout our college past noon and walking to the Kodak shop in the sun to finally end up having lunch together. To be honest, I was in love with her.

It took me two whole days, Saturday and Sunday to travel on the bike around Pune to fish something for the crush. Bad luck! It troubled me to no end and her face kept popping into my head. Finally, I laid on something cute and fancy. It was a colorful cotton bag to win and woo her.

I traveled all the way from college to her house, braving the traffic and humidity to press the bell like an uninvited guest where she was surprised to suddenly see me landing on her doorsteps. It was crazy, I swear. She almost threw me out together with the fancy bag but I pressed on her. She didn’t have any choice but to accept it. I knew deep inside that she was pissed with me and felt stupid while going back home after speaking to her for hardly few minutes. I didn’t have any intention to sit inside her house. It was another story that, prodded by the best friend, I ended up proposing her via Sms with 1,4,3 which she dubbed as a stupid game played in school for I love You with the ‘You know I have a boyfriend’. But, the next day, it was all cool between us when she sent an apology SMS for being rude. We spoke on phone and on her birthday, I gifted her a Ganesha and what I got in return was a tight hug outside the college entrance while she was on the phone with someone. It felt so romantic and thank the sky, for moral policing didn’t spot us. Ha!

It was the year that I made several friends and met Adi in the house where Manish and people were staying. We bonded over alcohol and the time I learned and loved the taste of Vodka with orange juice. Courtesy of our mate, Chandana who concocted the cocktail. Over the years, Adi became my best friend, pulling my leg for every small thing and berated me for lacking the money sense. He colored my hair, as we sat on the stairs for our end of year party on 31st December where we traveled all the way from Fergusson College (FC) Road to MG Road to buy triple 5 cigarettes box from the seller who would ship the ‘maal’ from Dubai and for which we got a good price of 60 bucks. Just imagine for imported fags!

Image credit: Google/http://static.panoramio.com/photos/original/3171755.jpg

Once, I took a rickshaw and ending paying 15o bucks to buy two cigarette packs worth 300 rupees. It made him very cross with me. He would call me very weird for along with someone, we were chewing pan before having alcohol. He just snigger at me, ‘weird.’ Our Saturdays were spent spilling the alcohol down the lungs, smoking and smoking up the pot together with all kinds of stupid jokes where we turned into crazy beings. It’s the kind of bonding that we had. Once, he got himself a huge ceramic pot, big enough to put mud and flowers which he proudly called his, ‘pot of knowledge.’ He didn’t want anyone to throw the fags’ end and he had every intention to fill it till our exams ended, which he did.

Crazy! That’s life for us. I enjoyed making the trip to his house in the Peth areas at Shaniwar Peth and often lost my way despite visiting his parents’ house now and then.  I enjoyed the animated but fiery discussion he had with uncle. Aunty made the most amazing Maharashtrian lunch and once he got the Bob Marley haircut with the dreadlocks and bee wax. Naturally, I laughed at him and earlier during the day told how he’s looking like a ‘chut’. Uncle looked at him seriously and told, ‘Adi! You looking like Pharaoh of Egypt’. Naturally, I couldn’t conceal my laugh and sent an SMS to someone to report about the time he’s having with his Dad but ended sending it to him. He laughed and threatened me with his finger. It took me a while to realize that the joke turned on me.

Image credit: Google/http://shoppinglanes.com/images/story_block/block_image/4408-1403008742-6-stalls%20inside.jpg

There are so many such incidents which I am trying to recollect but somehow the brain drained over more than 10 odd years and is going Kaput. Once we traveled on his shiny red bike for some shopping at Fashion Street on MG Road, which he found as too nalla. I was shopping for pirated VCDs and he was hell-bent to dissuade me from buying there. I took the VCD of Phir Milenge and in front of the dude selling the movie, he said, “Arre mat kharid, yeh bakwas picture hai.’ The hawker was pissed and just said, “Arre! Bakwas picture nahin hai achha movie hai.” I found it hilarious. But, it’s another story that the VCD didn’t play at home.

It was the year where I made a record of sort, staying at different locations, right from Vishrant Wadi to Kothrud and changing two apartments on FC Road so much that one friend told me to stuck to one place that way I’d have enough money to visit places. It was in Kothrud at Paud Road that I flirted with danger in the bungalow of the Mahajans, Bhagya Chintamani at Bhausari Colony. The owner would stay upstairs and the ground floor would be given to tenants. Uncle and aunty were very nice to me and would often invite me either for lunch and dinner with them upstairs in their spacious bungalow and the only thing that scared me to death was their dog.

I believe that the studio rented out to me at the end was the best room which I got for 2.8 k at that time and I had as neighbors, two brothers from Germany who most of the time were drunk. I would often hear them involved in a brawl with their girlfriend who would often visit them. Once, it got to my mind that I need to change the cylinder at Bharat Gas at Karve Road and when I was carrying the cylinder, one of them insisted on taking me there. I could have died as the dude was shit drunk and riding the bike, stumbling from one end to the other. I almost got a panic attack and fainted. Finally, as the deed was done, I came back relieved that I was safe. I vowed never to pillion ride with someone sloshed.

I shall end on this hilarious situation where I was staying in one room as a PG behind college and at night was listening to cassettes on my CD player gifted by a friend and how suddenly, I had a regular loose motion. What happened was hilarious. I needed to have some medicine to ease the pain and in a hurry, I inhaled Vaseline skin care rather than microgel syrup for stomach pain. It left a weird sensation on my tongue and stomach, where I spit it out at the washroom. I was like, what the fuck I just did. I washed the mouth a couple of times and poured water inside my stomach. Thankfully, there was not much harm done to the system. The hitch is that both bottles were placed on a shelf and in a hurry, I mistook Vaseline for the syrup in a hurry. That’s what stomach ailments do to your mental state.

PS: I have every intention to finish the Pune Memoirs and racking my brain to retrieve moments spent more than a decade. It is painful and tricky but worth the effort.

Love, Shubbh Ratri and Good Night

V

 

 

 

 

 

Relationships, love and complexities


A dear blogger friend whose views resonates with me and whose opinions I value a lot wrote on her space about relationships, hope and the act of busy falling in love with friendship and people. It’s a dichotomy of the sort as we get used to people and most of the times, we fail to see the blurred line between falling in love with people and getting used to them. It can get very tricky. Read this post on The Idea-Smithy blog.

It got me thinking how often I have fallen in and out of love with various people during the carefree, student days and in not too recent times. But, truth be told, as I age, it’s been a tale of perfecting my art of running away from love owing to the fact that the most serious relationship didn’t work out. It hurt me a lot and questioned my belief in what we call love. Why the fuck that we fall for people? It left me wondering whether I will ever find love, as it is I am in my mid-30s? Being a seeker is my most favorite phrase to describe the self.

Relationships are tricky and complex. Love is an oxymoron. What we believe is love can be as simple as just getting used to people. It’s true that we don’t want conflicts in our relationships and expect things to be honky-dory. I don’t want to commit or carry the burden of long-standing relationships. But, it’s also true, that there is the inherent fear of rejection. Yes, it makes me insecure at times.  Over the years, I have grown up not believing in marriage as an institution since I am bothered about it taking away my space as a person or stifling my emotional freedom as a person. Or, truth be told bluntly, I fear being turned down. It’s my belief that marriage can be suffocating and prevent human growth since we are trapped into society’s beliefs of what is wrong or right.

It has been a habit with me in the past to fall into people with whom I connected with. See, I am an emotional sucker and thrive on them. But, that doesn’t mean that I like to suffocate people. It’s the last thing that I can ever think of doing. It’s also true that I don’t want to hurt the self in a relationship for the strong belief instilled in me that I am done and dusted with that. But, should it be reason enough to run away? When that relationship didn’t work out, I choose to run away from Mumbai. Yet, I was armed with an unflinching hope that things would finally work between us and like some magic, love will surprise me. It was a relationship fraught with complexities, I am Hindu and she is Muslim. I hail from a conservative family and our respective parents would never accept to sanctify this relationship. That’s the issue with us humans: We are always looking for social sanction. How flawed our value judgments are?

I am always in two minds, whether I should be in a relationship or not. At one moment, I tell the self to close the eyes and go for the kill and the next, it’s like that I don’t have time for all this. It’s the biggest lie. Why as humans we want to kill the hope and optimism as free birds in relationships? I am aware that I am no longer in my 20s but mid-30s where mature decisions have to be taken? But, then, a heart knows no reasoning or logic.

It always happens with me when I fall in love with friendships where there is always the fear of risking it and ending losing both love and friendship. Love may reach an expiry date but friendship never does. I guess, there is no clear-cut answer when it comes to dating, love or relationships. We should never shy in dating someone for it teaches us a lot. There is no guarantee that the relationship will stand the test of time because who knows what will happen tomorrow.

I think it is important for all of us to be positive and build on hope, in all our relationships or interactions in the routine of life. As humans, we are shaky and an upset, big or small can pull the trigger to make us vulnerable and losing faith or trust in people. I have realized there is no point in crying hoarse over regret and be open to dating without prejudices or expectations. True, loving freely without expectations work for me since I am nurturing the idea of not indulging in self-hurt.

With love

V

Chalkboard days of simplicity and rebellion


A decade of memory,

carefree days of rebel,

love,

friendship,

the scent of a girl,

the fragrance of Vodka and Whisky,

wafting in the spirit,

Memory can be painful,

bruising the soul in places that hurt the most,

Retrieving moments lost and captured,

it’s like laying the soul to rest,

Heartburn,

chill tremor felt inside the body,

cheap tobacco stench,

the pal feasting on Gudang Garam,

girls sipping Breezer,

the men tasting the river of Imperial Blue, Old Monk Rum, and Romanov Vodka,

Life wasn’t a bed rose of scotch in those days.

Plain and simple chalkboard days of simplicity.