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How to say I’m a Writer without actually spelling it


Gargi Mehra is one of the bloggers and writers I follow. I always knew her to be this super talented writer but the fun streak is refreshing to know. Go read this post which is so much fun and she shared another posted link on Writer’s Relief. I read it and back to her post, decided to jump on this bandwagon of fun.

While I am no writer of published book or for that matter wannabe, there are ingenious ways in claiming the pie without actually telling to be One. Here we go:

  1. I keep buying notebooks and colorful pens, staring at the blank screen, scribbling story ideas that gets unwritten and an agenda diary penning Daily To Do Writing, buried over the years.

2. The ink is totally dried on my work station that someone may get wrong ideas that I do weird stuff to them. Silly mind, I ain’t into BDSM and have no intention writing about them in future. No ifs and buts!

3. Always on a spree and can’t resist getting pens or notebooks from the supermarket as if it’s the hottest chick in town. Don’t believe me! Check this picture of the colorful notebook still unpacked since 2020 and splurged many hundreds on the news ones this week. And I thought, buying fancy pens and notebooks is my ticket to be a best selling writer in town or motivation. It’s no gymming.

4. Before you tell me move my ass, I have conducted three writing workshops last year urging participants to follow the 500 rule, except that it doesn’t work on the man who thinks he’s PG WodeHouse.

5. Yes! I still swear by Chetan Bhagat, cigarette after sex Five Point Someone!

6. If you ever scroll my google search engine and before getting me to jail just bear in mind that that I have no interest in Savita Bhabhi or desi hot stuff, it’s plain research for hot romance. Yes! I mean it and have no intention to be caught and cooped in mental asylum.

7. Hate British commas and figure ways to slash repetitive words even in technical writing. Still have doubt about me claiming “I am Writer Without Saying I am a Writer”, I shall rephrase it too.. I am a Writer Without Saying So…” coz the first one was repetitive. See my obsession.

8. Have doubts, don’t google me but break into my Grammarly to see how proficient I am.

9. I got my first Dell Aspiron laptop to write the next best seller romance. Sold second hand to a neigbor coz wanted to dance naked on the street. I wasn’t jailed for that. Howzz that for writing imagination! Got an HP washed with Beer and an Asus making me curse the choicest desis cuss words for its frozen every single day and my window to the world cum screen presently is hanging by a thread to be detached soon like split wide open. It’s been 10 years and still writing the best seller.

10. I need a MacBook next year for well I write and can’t wait penning the book. Plain and simple.

11. The fuck word I embellish is what creativity does and don’t mean it literally.

12. I keep buying ebooks and hard copies, receive in gifts too for that’s where a story can brew in my head.

13. Look at my manuscripts, an abandoned fiction romance draft, restarted the second and lost again, poem collection and trying to save my collection of short stories project thinking it’s water.

14. I can give people prompts to write. I list story ideas and give freely on Twitter.

15. On Facebook, I write lengthily on my status and just name a topic of your choice. My challenge to you.

16. If you ever steal my diary, my guarantee you might end up with a heart attack and giving for free to all my foes or folks hating me. Sweet revenge and seeing unkind entries about you or me thinking about you as Donald Duck, Rakhi Sawant or Kangana Ranaut. See! this is the trailer of what I make of you.

17. I can listen to chote chote peg from Sonu Ki Titu Ki Sweety in search for the next big idea and someone told it breaks writers’ block into tiny pieces pretty much like virginity.

18. Noteapp on my mobile is forever open and if you see the number of poems I wrote, it’s already a book. Now argue with that?

19. I dream of making sentences in sleep only to forget them in the morning,

20. This post about writing is a work of fiction and bears no ressemblance to any ghost, half-human, spirits, living, dead or roaming like wolves. Now, you know where all craziness comes. Say Writer, spell Writer.

Feel free doing it and ping me. Will read.

Love

V

Author:

Work-in-progress, seeker, and bundle of contradictions. Stubborn and Refusal to grow up and constantly in search of myself, I blurt it out on my space. Drop in and share some love. Indian!!!

3 thoughts on “How to say I’m a Writer without actually spelling it

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