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Day 50: Empty the trash


A year hits an end. Fob off all negativity and anger trash that seeped in during the last era and relegate it to the bin. Don’t take past pain, trauma or pent-up emotions along and wake up with a new light.  I pledge to flush all frustrations down the drain and unburden the self, free from whatever anger bugged or held me down during the last year. Isn’t it the true and real purpose of decutter!

People who hold no meaning in my life would not be given the serum to bog me down or frustrate the mind. So much happened in 2018. I see no point in giving them a leash of life, be it anger, bottling up of feelings, past defeats or the various struggles.There is no point plugging the rewind button for the mind works in an intriguing manner, and giving meaning to trash does little in emptying ourselves. Stop giving importance to things affecting us.

There were several spasm of inward anger when the ire was directed against the invisible foes that made me feel shitty and cursed myself for lacking the spine in calling them out. The same ones who made me feel inferior or thinking I am daft. But, what’s the point in playing this old toxic song all over again. I am plain bored in playing this game that affects me in places, read the mind and ending up leading to frustration most of the time. Slowly, this shit accumulation accentuated my anxiety and depression issue where the mind conks, like the computer getting heavy and slow on days like that.

I need to control my anger in a better way and there were days lashing at people, plain strangers for flimsy reasons, something I regretted to no end. But, then, why cry over split milk and what matters is the attitude in overcoming negativity and minuses. This is something that I pledge to work on during this New Year. Empty the trash. I am repeating it to myself several times that I lost count.

One issue that bugged me to an irritating level was the lack of sleep and imagine the pain of the eye socket opening up at 6 a.m and refusing to close down. I struggled with sleep for several months but thankfully, towards the end of this year, was able to overpower the lack of sleep. I hate waking up early since for me the best time is getting up late. It makes me more productive for the entire day.

Learn and unlearn things, in letting go of not just things, people but emotions fettering growth. Going with the flow and tide is the most therapeutic thing which I hope will, ultimately, happen for me. I am already cherishing the idea of waking up and staying put during the day without chasing the anxiety or negative thoughts looming and affecting my mental state. Sometimes, we hold so much to negative thoughts boiling inside and there should be a way to release the excess energy. The onus falls on me. The change has to be sought and brought within. I pledge that in 2019 small changes will be made and get rid of all inferiority if any, chucking out the toxic past, conflicting emotions, flush out the anger and be more composed, balanced as a person.  I shall strive to be a tiny drop in the ocean triggering the tide lifting humans. A small part, we all can play, to make the world and humans better.

Wishing a Happy New Year 2019

Love

V

Author:

Work-in-progress, seeker and bundle of contradictions. Stubborn and Refusal to grow up and constantly in search of myself, I blurt it out on my space. Drop in and share some love. Indian by choice.

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