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Free love and no conditions attached


The prompt or idea for this post was offered by Meenakshi Sethi following a discussion on one of my recent posts.

Love can be overbearing. Free love is about emptying ourselves, the naked soul, emotions and removing the expectation of being loved back, kissing or sex. There are no rules and conditions when it comes to emotional attachment and perhaps SRK’s line in Mohabattein: “Mohabat mein shartein nahin hota toh afsos nahin hona chahiye!” could make sense to us.

The many layers of relationships. Existence is uncertain. So are our relationships with fellow travelers! We can never know when we can fall in and out of love. Some people follow their hearts while for many, the emotions are suppressed because it can take a toll on several lives. The concept of No Conditions Attached is unlike No Strings Attached, a fling or One Night Stand.

We never asked permission to fall for someone but they cannot be expected to be with us. A partner has the right to exit a relationship because the spark is missing and after all, it’s all about being truthful to the self. Do not pursue or force them to stay in for it becomes an obsession and a hotbed for suffocation or unhappiness. Nobody can be pressurized to stay in a forced relationship or what is called One-sided love. Set them free. There is nothing right or wrong and moral or immoral about it. Love is not about possessing someone’s soul. I had many such unrequited emotions and being attracted to many or the one relation that never worked out. It was painful. We decided to call it quits.

Free love doesn’t mean you should be with the person till the last breath but loving without any compulsion to wake up by each other’s side. We were not destined to be together but there should be no regret. It’s better to love and lose than not loving at all. Emotions are constantly changing and the moment things remain static, we cease to be unique individuals and forever depending on someone else. Sometimes relationships can choke us to death and suppress our individuality. Deciding to call it quits doesn’t mean we stop loving the person. It makes for an interesting debate on what constitutes free love. After all, the true purpose of love is liberation without being too much attached.

Take, for instance, a married couple who lead separate lives but choose to be with different people might amount to immoral and extramarital affair.  I am not condoning people bound by the moral or legal sanctity to have relations outside the wedlock but should we judge people deciding to be happy when the entire foundation has crumbled. Does that mean as free individuals they should be devoid of passion or needs by being cowed down by society in turning down love? For if we do, emotions are suppressed and wings clipped. Daring to find someone who understands and take care of your needs, offering emotional warmth and shoulder to lean on is free love in itself. Not every relationship should be equated to sex which is such a gross exaggeration about what people want!

On the last post, a reader spoke about falling in love with someone younger despite being married at that point. What if the marriage has fallen apart, there is no love and the partner is philandering? Would you still blame or nurture prejudice against someone who found love and whose emotional needs are being met by another sensitive soul? Of course, I am speculating on the various possibilities of going against the tide and not by any means advocating the break up of a marriage or pursue sex outside? I am saying that love carries many forms and there are more to a relationship than what meets the eye.

A friend has chosen to end her marriage not because of cheating, boredom or domestic violence but it became a near impossible task to share a common life. The fact that they were meeting once every two years of complicated things.  I am pretty sure both partners have grown attached to each other but this relationship was veering in an aimless direction. Of course, it must be painful to cope with a separation bound by a child and being no one to judge, perhaps both found it to be in their best interest to thwart suffocation and truly liberate their souls. Not everything in a relationship is about children or parents but rather growing as unique individuals.  If we do so, aren’t we imposing our own personal agenda on the children? Both have remained friends and she told me how her ex-husband will always be family and father of their daughter.

This is the beauty of a relationship. Would you still argue that there is no such thing as free love setting your soul free? I am aware of the risk, painting a very idealistic image of love but here lies the dichotomy between our ever-changing equations and society’s response. I would always choose free love for if the person is meant to be with me, she will or else was never mine in the first place.  Love is not about possession, stifling emotional needs but being free as individuals.

Love

V

Author:

Work-in-progress, seeker and bundle of contradictions. Stubborn and Refusal to grow up and constantly in search of myself, I blurt it out on my space. Drop in and share some love. Indian by choice.

8 thoughts on “Free love and no conditions attached

  1. Vishal!

    First of all thank you so much for giving me the credit of prompt.

    No more words left for me to agree with each and every word written here. If I had tried to write it I could never have written it more beautifully.

    Very few will understand or agree with what is hidden behind the meaning of this kind of love. In a materialistic world where everyone is running behind fulfilling their own desire who has the time to stop to think about it? There are very few blessed souls who experience this pure emotion. That is the reason when we love someone in this way sometimes the person doesn’t want to trust and think that there must be some personal interest behind. But anyway as we said love is love and we don’t need to prove it to anyone neither even to the one whom we love.

    Maybe Universe has choosen us to experience this unique wonderful emotion.

    I hope you won’t mind if I share this post accompanied by my poem (which I haven’t written yet) in future.

    Thank You so much once again for showing mirror to my soul through your words.

    Keep shining 💥

    1. Meenakshi, this prompt was triggered by you and full credit. I am sure you would have done an amazing job in honesty and perhaps better than I ever did. Love is love and we shouldn’t let this pure emotion be shrouded by judgment whether we fall in love with a married person, single or divorced. That’s how I see it and up to us to see whether we should give it any direction. I am a firm believer in the Universe for we are the chosen one to witness this emotion and please go ahead M. You are love. We are all love falling in love with the soul and not the identity or the flesh. I have a soul friend who keeps saying she has an intimate relationship with every known soul and there is nothing sexual about it. But, then these people have grown a lot that average mind like me cannot experience it, beyond the realm of attachment or flesh. Please go ahead M and congrats for the book. Feel the love and the sheer power of emotions. I am trying as a person to be more understanding of emotions and perception as a being.

      1. You already are much grown up in these areas than you understand.
        Thank You for congratulating for book 🙂

        I will reblog your post once I write an appropriate poem to go along. Thank You so much once again.

      2. Thanks so much. Trust me Meenakshi, not yet but learning. Bundle of contradictions and confused being I am! Sketching a poem is so easy for you like drinking water 🙂

    1. Thanks so much Poonam! Society complicates things for all of us but what matters is listening to the heart. The idea came after discussion on another of my post with Meenakshi 😀 Coincidence can be strange like love 😀

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