Swach Baal Abhiyan and dharna against Lal Batti the Sonu Nigam way

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The Aam Aadmi is becoming very Khaas Khaas in today’s time with the lal batti gone for a toss and Azaan becoming a mighty power that can deafen our ears…sorry Sonu Nigam’s ears.  Why just Azaan? You name it you get, Mandir ka Puja aur neta ka bhashan. Our Sonu Nigam, of course, got so disturbed that he decided to be very aam with the Lal Batti getting out of our lives and followed Kejriwal Dharna steps by getting his hair shaved. Baal Baal dekho…meri baal dooba. Tere lal batti na raha soniya balon mere na raha….tere Azaan purana mar gaya mere bal deewane.

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Image credit: Google

Our Sonu Baba was sorely missing the Lal Batti that he shaved his head in a moment of weakness to hide the red light under the arm’s pit. So much anger, Sonu Baba that trolls weren’t sparing thinking that it’s Sood and not Nigam. Arre Baba! He’s our Sonu and not the real deal over Snapchat. No wonder, Sood got trolled instead of Nigam. ‘Bas naam ka confusion’ on Twitter.

Who wants Sonu’s hair? I bet no Maulvi will play booty booty over Ganja Sonu. Now, who will get a complex over shaved hair? If anyone threatens the tolerant and sickular you with hair shaving formula to adhere loyalty to Bharat Mata, just offer your head without hard feeling and tell them, ‘Make me like Sonu, Be like Sonu.” Better still, you can become a Ganja like our Master Sonu before the Bhakts come after you with threats after ranting against Modi-Ji or BJP on Twitter. It couldn’t be a better defense, I tell you.

The hair loss removal clinics who disturbs us at odd hours on the idiot box has been beaten to death with this simple Sonu formula. You can learn to strum a brand new composition on how to go ‘ganja’ in less than 24 hours and to stay relevant in the news.  All you wanna be celebrities, move over Rakhi Sawant’s Pankha act or the Poonam Pandey removing everything for Indian cricket team for the has-been and unemployed Sonu tells you how to make breaking news on national Television. It’s no longer about removing everything to go naked but go and get rid of your hair. Baal Baal dekho! Wanna play Baal baal and not booty shake without doing the Lungi dance? Worry not for Sonu’s tutorial is here to give you tips on how to become bald chutki mein.

It’s how creative you can get when disturbed by noises and the pigeons nagging you like a pesky wife boring you to death. Think again about doing the rehearsed and desperate act of standing at the window sills to shoo away the pigeons and letting the air flow in.  Simple! Apply some Zandu balm on your bald head and take the loud speaker to hum, ‘Sonu Badnaam hua dahling tere liye!’ That way, not just Azaan but even the pigeons will flock to a safer place knowing that our Nigam will make them badnaam with his bald head and voice.

I am just wondering how about the Modi Government making Sonu Nigam the brand new ambassador of ‘Bal Safai’ and once you get them removed, it can be recycled. Ab Banega Swach Balon ka recycle Sonu Nigam se puchiye isse phekna mat par sambhal ke rakhna kyunki kissi majboor ke kaam aa sakte. Swach Balon Abhiyan Sonu Nigam ke Saath. Don’t ever throw away your hair but keep it in a safe vault for Sonu to disguise himself as a baba and sing for you on the streets. After all, he will be the new brand ambassador of our hair gone for a toss in protest against the Lal Batti bowing out or Azaan making us go crazy.

Arre Baba, now what will happen to our desi Sapna Bhavnani cutting only the hair of celebrities? Obviously, Sapna joined Big Boss for she knew that with her friend Sonu, she would soon go out of job. Karmic call!

Love

V

 

 

 

 

 

 

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