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Satire: Ban the black money kyon ki ₹ 500 & ₹ 1000’s Maa of Kali Kartoot

It’s the PINK of all notes! Indian ₹ 500 currency note is going PINKY PINK.  No! Means No! No to Black Money! Has PINK-The Film gone too much to the head of Modi-ji taking it to the next level?  Pradhan Mantri-Ji says No means No to ₹ 500 and ₹ 1000 notes. Now, who will sing PINKY paise wali par apne jeb hai khali khali!

Just when we thought that the US election took center stage like hot samosas and Vada Pav to munch, Narendra Modi just hogs the limelight away singing in the face of Amreeka, Apdi Pode Pode! Notes Notes na Raha! Beware! Hoarders were singing and playing Black Black with their money when they suddenly find themselves stuck like the old gramophone with the Government packing a punch. It’s the Maa of all Surgical Strikes. Now, Pak how will you deny this surgical strike! I know what our Padosi will say, it was never money just a Kagaz ka tukda that we Indians fake for money. Our middle class is suddenly singing in front of the ATMs in India, White white notes dekhein sasura chance marenge!

Credit: Twitter

First, it was Arnab Goswami’s exit, then ₹ 500 and ₹ 1000 gone for a toss and now Evil Trump ruling over US. Yeh Sunke mera khalega kyon phat nahin gaya! Arre Bhagwan! Our notes are gone like the wind and silly me wondering what one can do with the notes! Die Another Day! It’s no Pan Bahar the Pierce Brosnan way. I believe in conserving energy. How about the notes doubling as toilet papers, wrapping channa and paper bags holding our fatty fries at KFC or Mc Donald? Never Ever say the notes are useless.  Hey, they are getting so pricey that they will now hold our Indian street snacks like the sexy Madam in long heels.  Kya kya nahin kar sakte! They suddenly look like the fading and Last American wala Action Hero in Hollywood potboilers like what Amreeka is poised to be with Trump Mama.

Image credit: Twitter

Shed as many tears to mourn our old notes hoarded mistaking it to be our Kohinoor stacked in underground which is now the departed soul much to our dismay. It suddenly feels like the story of our break up.  Chetan Bhagat and Karan Johar, take a cue for your next best seller to ring in the moolah.  I feel like prancing on the dance floor to the breakup song…Break Up Song…Break  Up Song. Unlike Anushka, I ain’t putting moo pe makeup kar liya. It’s the Maa of Kali Kartoot of burning mera ₹ 500 and ₹ 1000 notes. Wait! Actually, I can shower the string of notes to my ex. Baby! It’s your gift for life.

See! How rich I am! Will you marry me? Chuck out your Mr Money bag for I am the new douche bag in town with mera purane wale old notes. Baap re! I am no hoarder and don’t trade in black. Don’t give me those looks or pout for I ain’t falling for that, Missus.

All the Fakira Baba, feel free to hound me on the streets for I have plenty of ₹ 500 and ₹1000 notes to give you. You have harassed me for life and now it’s my turn to make you khao stale Diwali wale ladoo filled with Ras. Isse kehte hai Paisa Mein Twist! I ain’t gonna sing paisa ye paisa kaise for this Kagaz ka Tukda is our best enemy to sleep with and the worse to stab us in the back.

Stop burning woods, I tell you. Are Bhai! Yeh Purana ₹ 500 aur ₹ 1000 ka notes kiss kaam ka and after all, you can burn them in your Hawan Kund for your Saath Phere. After all, we Indians are famous for doing Jhol. It’s the Shagun of no value for the Big Fat Indian Wedding in exchange for free Mithai, Thali aur Daaru. Lighten up! Let Loose! You can always turn your guests away by burning their Kagaz in smoke to give them in exchange  bad bad pollution wala Shagun when you go round round the mandap. Money talk! Be a slave of moneyless value.

Now that your pocket will be fully loaded with stack of cash worth ₹ 2000, be prepared to get fatter and fatter with the fatty cholesterol that you wilfully filled yourself with at Mc Do, American Pizza and on the street stalls. The Sarkar doesn’t want you to be healthy. Now, who the fuck said, travel light and shed the excess baggage?

Our ₹ 500 aur ₹ 1000 notes suddenly feel like Donald Trump whom we can whip and whack giving wind to our own fancy. Stop fantasizing about whacking in unchartered zone with belts made with ₹ 500 and ₹ 1000 notes. Who knows it might just turn out to be true and backfire on us? It’s a weird world I tell you with Trump Baba winning and our notes fizzling out like Chinese crackers. Who ever thought that the slaying demon Ravana will rule our mind and thoughts forever?

I gonna make heart-shaped  ₹ 500 &  ₹ 1000 notes, clipping them on my favorite white pigeon’s claw singing, ‘Kabutar Jaa Jaa’ to send my Ishq wala love proposal to the damsel. It’s the time to croon a brand new tune in the topsy-turvy world turned into air turbulences. RIP to my ₹ 500 and ₹ 1000 notes! I can be dumb you see! How I wish I could have borrowed 500 and 1000 notes worth millions? I would have made a killing.

Chalo! Meow! Lemme count my Chillar for da party! Yo! Honey Singh! You can invite yourself for I’ll pay you with ₹500 and ₹1000 notes that my chai wala has turned down to croon a new rap chillar wala mehenga rupaiya aur sasta ₹500 aur ₹ 1000 ka notes.

Politically Incorrect and Satirically flawed







Work-in-progress, seeker and bundle of contradictions. Stubborn and Refusal to grow up and constantly in search of myself, I blurt it out on my space. Drop in and share some love. Indian by choice.

8 thoughts on “Satire: Ban the black money kyon ki ₹ 500 & ₹ 1000’s Maa of Kali Kartoot

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