Satire: When Arnab leaves Maike, TV goes silent

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The TV is muted! It’s the noiseless cracker that will send the Chinese fuming over what happened in India! It’s the sweet revenge over Chinese for India like the Bong sexy women looking Roshagullah and popping Gulab Jamun cheering this victory. Never Ever Ever Say Indian TV is going blank! The Nation wants to know how and why! Na na re na! Our Arnab Goswami  will no longer shout in our living room! A Diwali shocker. Never Ever say to ban Chinese crackers! It’s a silent calamity as our Arnab saying taa taa bye bye to Times Now!

Mourn! We will never hear, ‘This is my Show! It beats all surgical strikes to death. One can hear Mohamed Rafi’s voice playing in the background as Arnab walks all decked in his farewell suit, Babul ki dua leti jaa jaa tujhko shukhi sansar mile Maike ki kabhi yaad aaye sasural ke kabhie na yaad aaye!! I wanna shed a tear or two for Arnab looking like the bride leaving her maike for her new sasural. Yeh kya hua, kaise hua kab hua, kyon hua! Whom we will curse now? What will happen to our Twitter Memes! I am already whining and lamenting my fate with Nahin! Are Bhagwan! My tweets troll  has gone outta work like some unemployed bugger shedding bucket of tears…oops onion peeling causing my eyes to moist for yours truly is feeling like an unphunny asshole. I am so heartbroken that all my ruthless girlfriends who ditched me suddenly looked so nice and full of love in comparison to Arnab.

The face of India TV, Arnab Goswami could be the new and modern Gandhi ji on the now illegal ₹ 500 and ₹ 1000 notes that PM Modi has just given jhatka to the janta! For posterity, I mean! Hey, Arnab Goswami could well be the new army general to fight India’s war on the border or slug it out with Rahul Gandhi to count who came first, eggs or chickens as panelists. Our Arnab wanna revolutionize, oops wage war on global TV to make it huge and bigger than his King Size image. It makes me wonder whether Barkha is smiling, doing the lungi dance for Arnab will no longer scare us to death! Now India is not worrying but wanna Know what happened! Has Barkha Dutt’s outburst gone to our Arnab’s Head so much that he decided to blow Phataka and Phuljari on our psyche! Come and take that! It’s the Special Arnab rocket Goswami.

What will happen to our soap now with Arnab going out of the Box! It’s the return of Maa for AB TV Pe Arnab Nahin Hai Nahin Hai! One wonders who will for fuck sake nurse our wounds for not getting angry, irritated or laughing loud! Now, stop faking anger orgasm at your box. It’s no longer his show.  You’ve just been Arnab-ed for a week. It’s Ae Dil No Mushkil for the Man who has stopped solving all the problems of India. Abe yaar! Is your Maths weak like mine! Now, ban the word castration for our imagination is just doing that! The loud noise is gone like Phataka fizzling out of our living rooms. Our Arnab taught us the difference between Snap Chat and drought! Now, who will help me polish my GK and pass my Environment exams when he will be busy exploring Snap Chat! Sniff! Sniff! See, how Tommy Singh is sleeping peacefully and not barking at the intruder on TV. Ever fancied silent movie?!  Now, stop bursting crackers, don’t you know Arnab has gone silent?! Itna Sanata kyon hai Bhai!

Hilariously Yours

V

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Satire: When Arnab leaves Maike, TV goes silent

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