Sharing with you an excerpt from the unpublished manuscript which I am writing since four years. Maybe sharing the excerpt will help me revive the book that I haven’t touched for ages and yes, the first draft is lying unattended in a corner. Do read the excerpt and tell me what do you think:
In the name of love
It’s the biggest lie I’ve ever spoken in life. Can love turn a saint, a man who loved Zoya like anything, into a devil overnight? Her silence was killing me. I turned into an obsessive lover. My life was going to change in the next few days, months and years. I was denying it. She was making me jealous when she went for chai with the dude we met at the tapdi last time. I will not let it happen. I am obsessed with Zoya. I am plotting to kill that guy but I have the sweetest revenge in mind. It doesn’t matter that I become a sinner. I am in love with her.
It’s not a question of being right or wrong, saint or devil. It’s a question of love. We met the last time and hugged each other tightly. The tension was palpable. I was getting jealous when Zoya told me that her parents were planning to hitch her with an NRI in US. We were holding hands. I abruptly separated our palms and started walking. She fumed, “Ouch! What the fuck? You’ve hurt me?” I apologized. Her face expressed hurt and angst. We walked in silence. Both us knew why.
There was no communication between us for days till we decided to meet at Barista in Colaba and ordered two Cappuccino. I couldn’t face her. She asked, “What’s wrong? Still angry?”. The smile lit her face like the crescent moon. I faked an anger, “Is our relationship hurting you, Zoya?” The cheerfulness disappeared from her face. “What do you mean?” she asked. “You’ve lied to me,” I said. “The last time you went for tea with my friend behind my back and never bothered to say that you went along with him. I think he likes you. He told that he wants to sleep with you and that you told him that I am just an option in your life and not a priority.” Zoya was on the verge of tears. Her face seethed with anger.
“Tell that stupid friend of yours to stop lying. You better stop hanging with such despo. I thought that he is a good and decent guy,” she said. Zoya’s mood was spoilt. I am the culprit. Yes, I lied to her. She picked her brown bag, “I am going back home now. Yes! Tell this guy not to ever appear in front of me or else, I will turn spew venom at him and all those cuss words he couldn’t even imagine in his wildest dreams.”
Zoya walked away from me, trying to control her tears. I was lying on the bed when the phone beeped, “I will always love you, no matter where we are. It’s up to you whether you trust me or not.” I felt guilty that night. I have lied about an innocent guy who never harmed me and made the most beautiful girl who loved me cry. Do I deserve Zoya’s love? I ain’t sure about it. Why the fuck did I lie to her? This jealousy is killing me. I promised never to let anything hurt her. But, I did. What kind of love is that?