Writing Wednesdays: Beliefs, dreams and nurturing hope

This post is written as part of ‘Here Come Writing Wednesdays #writingwednesdays’ hosted on Write Tribe.


A wise man once said, “Tough Times Never Last but Tough People Do.” As I look back at my life one year back, I was reeling under negativity and spat anger everywhere. Things were not working for me and I was on the brink of a nervous breakdown, wondering whether it’s eternal. I was surviving on a dim but fading light. The hair turned grey. Frustration gnawed upon me. I would never accept my limits or being wrong and God save that person who came up with gyan lessons or tried to be all preachy! Trust me, some people bore my brunt and anger. I hit on social media and got into a spat with people.

A job where we were denied our basic salary that went on for months and I finally put on my papers. I was compelled to take a low and menial job in a factory that was much below my academic credentials and salary worth. It felt like I was dying every second of my life. Depression seeped in and couldn’t chase off the negative-cum-unwanted thoughts that flowed in. At that time, there were friends like Payal Agarwal, Pratibha, Devangini Chauhan and Gayatri Aptekar who supported me a lot and advised on meditation. ‘Close your eyes and go blank for 5 minutes,’ they said. I had completely lost it in this flurry of thought that hijacked my life. Nonetheless, I started the practice on an irregular basis for I wondered on the futility of the practice.

It was in the first week of January that I woke up one day and looked at myself in the mirror, “Vishal! What are you doing to yourself?” I skipped work on that day and it got me thinking how I lost my mojo but needed to be back to the super optimistic person that I was aeon ago. It cannot happen, I told myself. I must be born again and be that person for whom the world Impossible never existed. The decision was taken. There was no financial back-up, EMI and loans pending. No extra money to survive. I took a bold decision and risked a monthly salary. The next day I informed my employer who happens to be a relative that I will quit in another week time.

There was the struggle. In the mean time, I received a peanut offer from a newspaper offering 15k that was much below my expectations. I mulled about it but politely declined to join them. It is fear that compels us to take anything that comes our way.  We have insecurities that we may not get a job and are compelled to devalue ourselves as human beings. Once bitten, twice shy. But, the moment we compromise and don’t value ourselves, we are suck into it. It was a good decision that I took and now as I hark back, I am proud of making a bold decision where the real me came alive. I cannot say that I can afford to turn down a job but decided to go against the tide. Certainly, I cannot take risks since I don’t have a back up but went with the gut feeling.

It’s been two months when life pretty much surprised me in all its forms. I like things that way. It was in June when a miracle happened when I got paid handsomely for one week project as a consultant. In no time, I turned into a freelancer with the same company who has offered me two projects which I am doing this month and one of them is getting over today. There is a huge international conference about insurance that I will attend in the evening where the assignment will be completed.

Right now, I don’t earn a secure monthly salary but survive on projects and pray that they keep on coming. But, I am in a happy space today where I am able to take projects and do my own things sitting at home. For the first project, I report at the client’s office thrice a week for few hours and I am learning the basic ropes of the financial industry which is a challenge for me. It’s an exciting phase in my life. There were three years where I hit a dismal low and lost all hopes but what followed this year was nothing short than a miracle.

After nine months, I can see changes in me from a spiritual and soulful perspective where I am more composed and relaxed as a person. It’s a new me. Today, I can say that the meditation has helped me a lot in growing into the person that I am slowly becoming. True, my life is far from what I wished for but things are shaping in an upward curve. I refuse to set goals about seeing myself in the next five years which I feel is a flawed perspective but it’s a daily challenge for me, striving against all odds. Everyday is a struggle.

To every soul struggling in life, one thing I’d like to say, never abandon this tiny bubble of hope for after night comes the sunrise. Believe in yourself and never kill the dreams. You are made and destined to do the extraordinary, there is no one like you. Nurture hopes and work on yourself as a human beings.




  1. I needed this right now. I am presently where you were a year ago and honestly it sucks having to face it. Everything that I have been building up towards seems to have crashed around me and it feels so hard, not knowing what the future will bring. I know I offer hope to others when they are down but the fact is I remain doubtful when it comes to myself… hypocritical, huh?

    • You are one of the most extraordinary talented person I know, Doc. We get the feeling that whatever we have built are crashing but trust me, it’s not. You will realize that your efforts will never go in vain life mein. Hope is one thing we live on when the going gets tough. I know how difficult things can get. Always remain yourself that you are special and shine on. No one can take it away from you. Keep the hope and dreams. Never doubt yourself. No, you are not hypocritical. The mind is fickle and it’s human nature when it comes to the self, things don’t go as planned. We are humans. It’s just a phase.

  2. How true, there is no one like each of us. This is a very motivating piece, we all need to get a hang of ourselves during such testing times. We’re works in progress, and we can only hold on to hope when we struggle so hard.

  3. Thank you so much Vishal for sharing your story with the blogging universe. To be in a continuing fearful and depressed state is the worst space and having bound back to your happy and hopeful state, you have proved it to yourself you are many times more powerful than your circumstances. The best thing you did in those times of darkness was you did not alienate yourself completely and allowed positive people to guide you. You did not much believe in the power of meditation initially, yet you carried on with their conviction. And for this, you deserve kudos🙂 Reaffirm your faith in yourself every morning that from now on only the best is going to happen to you.

  4. Hats off to the spirit that made you take on the odds in life, Vishal! Well done for having brought yourself this far in spite of what happened. Our successes do not define us, but adversities do, and you have been able to brave it out. Think positive. From our present emerges our future. Success will come to you my friend, its just a matter of time. And need I say, these honest words of wisdom in your post will help many a soul trying to find their way from the abyss of despair. I can tell you, it is the darkest before dawn, so have faith and believe in yourself. You alone will bring yourself back to where you rightfully belong! More power to you!

    • It was such a tough journey and I am sure there are many more. Jo Mann ka ho toh acha hai jo mann ka na ho woh bhi acha hai. A quote of Dr Hari vansh Rai Bachchan that I believe in. It’s my firm belief that our decisions define us. Hits and lows will be part of life. It was an abyss and ur words carry so much weight:)
      Thanks for being kind always to me:)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s