It’s the Mahabharata war in Kalyug. When you’d think it’s the victory of Good over Evil, think again!! Our Yuddhistir, the good man on TV turned evil in real life seems to be hanging by the thread. Prajas are protesting against him but he still holding on quite strongly. Gajendra this time has no Krishna for counselling. One would be tempted to ask, Gajendra who? Gajendra Chauhan, the new chairman of Film Television Institute of India (FTII), our institute of excellence, where dreams are nurtured and produced luminaries such as Subhash Ghai, Shabana Azmi, Jaya Bachchan, Shyam Benegal, Shatrughan Sinha, Santhosh Sivan. It’s a place where cinema is discussed over countless cups of tea and samoosas, people like me who made a blink-and-eye appearance, learning what film-making is all about through the diploma projects of my friends.
I may not the ‘right person’ to speak about the premiere acting institute, unlike our Yuddhistir, but having seen a bit of the institute during the time I dabbled into film-making where I made my first step into a world we all dream about, I can say that an institute like FTII cannot afford have a mediocre, B-grade porn star and a flop show as its chairman. For having produced such incredible talent in the film industry, FTII deserve a better person to lead the way. First thing first, film-making is no piece of cake and leading an institute like FTII, some ‘haivan’ who think 33 glorious years means Jungle Love, Khulli Khikdi and Vasna, read soft porn and B-grade movies, is no mean task. Now, FTII will make voyeurism cinema with Gajendra Chauhan at its helm. Such thought gives me a chill down the spine.
It’s the new age Mahabharata at Prabhat Road Pune where FTII-ians slugging it out against Yuddhistir. It’s another thing that Gajendra is in no mood for Yudh or choti choti baatein with the students who will shape cinema in years to come. Our Old age Yuddhistir from another era will teach cinema to students and, of course, he has his own views to make his students reach the sky. He feels that there are lot to be done at FTII who must move with times since the likes of Subhash Ghai, Shyam Benegal, Mrinal Sen and Vinod Khanna brought mediocrity to the institute, in his vision of world cinema. Of course, Gajendra Chauhan has such an impressive career as an actor, churning out milestone after milestone. After all, who is Rishi Kapoor, Anupam Kher, Ranbir and Salman Khan? What do they know about good cinema. See! To rule over students, you must be a despot who must refuse to resign even if students don’t want you. It’s no Arab spring, you fucktard! The students and actors who protested against Chauhan are delusional and they made super depressive movies that would bore you to death.
This is not good cinema, the Gajendra Chauhan way. What kind of crap dialogues those FTII students weave in their movies yet they call it meaningful cinema? Of course, Gajendra is a Gold, Filmfare and National Film award winner, grammy awardee, Oscar and VIP at Cannes missed global recognition by a whisker for mouthing epic dialogues like Mohabbat ki jo chingari tumne mere dil mein jagaai thi, wo ab hawas ki aag ban chuki hai”. You see, these are power packed dialogues that makes a great classic. Those FTII and self-claimed luminaries missed the cue and are all flop shows because they don’t have the mettle and charisma to make inspiring movies like Khuli Khidki,Jungle Love’, ‘Jungle Queen’, ‘Jungle ka Beta’, ‘Jungle Hero’, ‘Bhayanak Panja’ and ‘Rupa Rani Ramkali’. Who better than Gajendra Chauhan who immortalised this line, “Gandi naali mein gota lagane wale vasana ke keede!”?
Wah! Wah! Kya Baat, Gajendra-Ji, you will revolutionise FTII as a premiere institute of acting, teaching students the A-Z of Khulli Khidki and soft porn to take one of the most credible institute of acting to another level. A flop show spanning over 34 glorious careers, ‘Yudhistir’ who refuse to belch from his seat because the students masses should be ignored, the institute is set to scale a new heights. Students, don’t be disappointed because you are being ruled by a porn icon and keep the protest going. Ah! How can I forget the ‘despot’ and ‘Bhakt’ is now threatening students of rustication like a goddamn coward. Well! Gajendra-ji when your time is up, it calls for desperate measures. There is no dearth of competent people in the film industry who can serve as chairman of the institute of acting par excellence, FTII. It can be Shatrughan Sinha, Shabana Azmi, Dr Adoor Gopalakrishnan or Naseeruddin Shah, for that matter. It’s better to have an alumni to head the institute to better understand the needs of the students.
How he was nominated and accepted the post of FTII chairman? Simple, Dil Chance Maare! As if, 34 career as a porn actor is no ground for disqualification!
PS: This is a satire on the flop show, Gajendra Chauhan and I support the strike of FTII students who deserve better as their chairman, someone who knows cinema and can be a model to students, not some B-grade porn actor.