In a democracy, it’s our right to support someone and something or discard it in its entirety, diminishing it as cliche. Homi Adjania and Deepika Padukone’s My Choice Vogue’s video has provoked a flurry of passion since it speaks of a subject which is raging, the right and place of women in society. The video has found favor and at the same time, drew the ire of so many of us. Many of us seem to be offended by words in the video,
My choice to have sex before marriage, to have sex outside of marriage, to not have sex. My Choice to love temporarily or to lust forever. My Choice to love a man or a woman or both. My Choice to come home when I want. Don’t be upset when I come home at 4 am. Don’t be fooled if I come home at 6 pm.
Unfortunately, we have lost the cue and over reacted to the video. First thing first, Homi Adjania through his medium ‘cinema’, has made a strong and powerful statement. It’s all about choices. Deepika Padukone as one of the 99 protagonists making a telling choice that it’s her life. The makers of the powerful and impacting video made a statement that so many of us have been trying to tell. It’s about the life of a woman and the choices that she makes. The best thing about this video is how others have been trying to control the life of a woman, through pre-conceived judgement and conservative mindset perpetuated in society.
The sad thing with reaction is that the purpose of the video has been lost in translation. Deepika Padukone never encouraged people to have extra-marital relations or sex outside the marriage. Again, it falls to ‘My Choice.’ It’s the choice of the person as a career-oriented woman or for that matter, man. The choice to get married or not, being in a live-in relationship, leading the life of a heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual.
The bottom line is it’s about ME, the choice of an individual and how society dictates what is morally right or wrong. Since arguments revolved around the M of Morality surrounding the video, being morally right or wrong is blurred. Who defines what is morally right or morally wrong in society? The definition depends upon person-to-person.
Both Homi Adjania the film maker and Deepika Padukone, the actor, cannot be responsible if someone is indulging in extra-marital sex or relationship. It’s a very lame argument to use when we are inferring that the video promote extra-marital affairs. The video is speaking about someone’s body or ‘neutral choice: For instance, a person may choose to go for an abortion and it’s entirely a matter of choice. There is nothing immoral in that, except if one wants to control a woman body, they shall refer as such.
At a time where there are several crimes such as harassment, assault and rape committed against women and we are witnessing see how woman are exploited in the household, the video makes a strong statement. Marital rapes are common in many households where a woman is treated as a door mat and inferior to mankind. I support this video. This video was needed at a time when in-laws think that it is perfectly moral to crush upon a woman’s identity as a human being the moment she steps as a bride or she should wear a white sari when the husband’s funeral has been lit. It’s the ego of the society in which we live. For sure, male patriarchy and the so-called religious organization power would feel threatened by the power-packed video that sends a strong signal for equality.
If, as a man, I have the right to party till late night or work in the wee hours in the morning, so is the woman. It’s high time that we move away from the whole ‘gender bender’ and see ourselves as human beings first. Let’s break this urban cum rural gap or discrimination when it comes to equality.
We’ve been crying hoarse over crime committed against women, the culture of exploitation and the birth of the daughter as second choice. It’s high time that we become tolerant as a society by accepting someone’s choice to live life in their own way. The My Choice video sparked outrage because many of us, including women, are wary of giving someone a choice to think about himself or herself to grow in life. We have seen unfortunate comments on the part of lawyers such as ML Sharma in the Nirbhaya case. Let’s not go to that but it echoes the view of a vast majority of people across the globe.
Honor Killing cannot be accepted nor can rape or treating women as inferior in a civilized society. The best thing about the video is that it makes a powerful statement that renders Deepika Padukone, the celebrity and star, as redundant. Hats off to her for getting her act right by playing second fiddle so that the message gains prominence and is conveyed across various channels.
I think it’s high time for us to stop being hypocrites and wearing blinkers, that extra-marital relationships doesn’t happen or saying good girls don’t booze or smoke, work till late. Of course, I am not condoning extra-marital affairs and will never will since it destroys not one but three lives. Let’s see the video in its entirety and look at the broader picture. What amazes me is how many of us are sticking our guns to phrases like: My choice to have sex before marriage, to have sex outside of marriage, to not have sex.