Day 1: WTFW-9 Sentence Fiction: Bonding over Pani Puri


 

Hi folks,

 

I am participating in this year’s Write Tribewritetribe_festival_words_3 Festival of Words, Day 1 post – a 9-sentence fiction piece. Happy Blogging.

Now on to what you need to write for Day 1 (2nd March) – 9 Sentence Fiction .

  • Write a piece of fiction consisting of exactly 9 sentences. The choice of subject, characters and setting is totally up to you.
  • Publish it on your blog on 2nd March.
  • Link it to the linky on our post on 2nd March
  • Read, comment and share posts by the other bloggers who link in for the challenge.
  • Link to us – on http://writetribe.com/write-tribe-festival-of-words-3/

Bonding over Pani Puri

He is happily gorging on the Pani Puri at Bandra Bandstand one Sunday evening brimmed with the crowd storming their way outside the residence of the superstar at Mannat.

All he cared for was the delicious and mouth watering Paani Puri whose warmth went down his throat oblivious to the crowd gone berserk.

The pani puri wala tells him, ’50 bucks, sir’ but he couldn’t find his wallet whose weight he felt in his deep pocket.

Somebody gentled touched his hand and, as he looked around, he saw the street urchin who pointed with her tiny finger, the wallet lying in the mud.

The toddler picked the purse and cleaned it with his ragged t-shirt before handing it back to its rightful owner.

As the toddler was walking away, he called her, “Wanna have some?” and her face lit up as she grabbed the pani puri with both her hands, something she yearned since she started begging at Bandstand, standing in front of the stall in the scorching sun for hours.

He bent down and held the toddler’s hand, “Thank you so much. I have always look down at you and will you be my friend?” as she ready offered her tiny hand.

He took her in his arm and flung her in the air to catch her, planting a fatherly kiss on her cheek as she thanked her stars for finding love from a stranger.

A group of girls, dressed in branded jeans and holding Prada bags, giggled and sneered scornfully, “What a weird fellow, playing with such kind of people..so disgusting” but if only they had a heart to feel the emotion of pure and unadulterated love devoid of human prejudices, class, caste and wealth.

With Love

V

 

51 thoughts on “Day 1: WTFW-9 Sentence Fiction: Bonding over Pani Puri

  1. Nice take on the prompt… 🙂
    Often people get judged by looks,money and such things when the actual criteria should have been ‘who as a human being he is’ rather than ‘what he has’

    • So true, Kalpana with the observation of the crowd flaunting earthly possession and, of course, sneer on the lesser human beings…hehe..it’s fiction I imagined in front of SRK’s house…well I was a regular at Bandstand on Sunday travelling by bus and train to reach there:) I so miss the place:(

  2. Nice to see a different take on the challenge… quite apart from the usual bustle of relationships saga. I would just like to add one thing though, and only if you take it as constructive criticism. If not, ignore what i’m about to write in the next line since it’s really not my place to judge anyone’s else work when my own is so substandard.

    If possible just work on being a bit more subtle in the central theme. You are almost there but some lines probably need a bit more work specially in the 7th and 9th line.

    I really mean it as a compliment. I took the pain to tell you what I actually felt because I really liked your work. Hooe you don’t mind my big mouth.

    • Hi Priyanka. First of all, welcome here and I am so glad you pointed out bout’ the loopholes. I read again seventh and ninth lines..can u explain a bit more? I am happy and constructive criticism and please don’t hesitate to point out.
      Cheerz

      •  I guess the use of the conjunction “and”  to depict two contrasting set of emotions in the seventh line, “I have always looked down at you and will you be my friend?” was what particularly pricked my sense of continuity . There is also a printing mistake, I guess.. ready instead of readily.

        It’s really a very minor detail. Please feel free to review my posts too. I have been looking around for someone to review my works but it’s really hard to get somone to devote their time and energy for my benefit.

    • So well said, Roshan. It says a lot about our attitude than the person who has a heart to do so. It reminds me of two of my very young friends, twin sisters, at Marine Drive who were begging. They are so full of life and always think of them. Hope they get all happiness in life.

  3. Interesting tale, Vishal. And yes, the grammar can be touched up here and there, but overall, your descriptors are quite good.

  4. This is a lovely story, Vishal! Kindness is such a lost art in this modern world; I’m glad to see you are promoting this path through your writing. It really does matter. Keep it up! 🙂

    • Thanks so much, Leigh. I do try to convey a message of kindness which is very important for healthy relationships and make a difference in this world. More than money, I feel a heart capable of love matters:)

      • So true, Vishal. Money/gold/jewels mean nothing but that people make it mean something. Kindness and love are what matter. And on that note, have a great day! 🙂

    • That’s true Rohan. I feel the street urchins are so genuine in the way they jump and smile..wear their heart on the sleeve. We have a tendency to hide our emotions which surely is not the gateway to human happiness.

  5. So sweet. Random acts of kindness are the best. We give so much importance to the outward that we often forget true beauty lies within

    • So beautifully said, Suzy. I mean, I swear by my Levis jeans but for comfort and not showing off to people. Unfortunately, people fail to see a beautiful heart but rather outer beauty. It’s sad and welcome to the fake world a la Gucci bag on display at Colaba causeway

  6. yes very well said vi we actually get up on such heights sometimes we don’t see below more often.but we should have a heart and not prada bags or expensive luxuries.that would be our true posessions

  7. I like how the social line was removed and these two bonded. Events like this give me hope for humanity. (Yes, I know this is fiction, but still, I have hope that it really happens 🙂 )

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