The brave soldier, Prince and eligible bachelor of Indian Politics has made it. Yes! He did it! They tell us his Moma is very proud of Amul Baby (Face) after spilling out with Arnab Goswami on Times Now. He succeeded in torturing and killing Arnab and screwing the head of millions of Indians who watched Times Now for one hour and twenty minutes. Rahul (Baba) made a grand entry in his first ever TV interview crushing hopes pinned on him. He must be proud and happy as Momma must be feeding him Parle G after punishing him and whipping on the butt for the fracas caused in the household called, Congress. No! I am not speaking about Congress House, the red light area but the household of the Gandhi family, Congress Party.
What do you want to do with your life, Rahul Baba? Arnab asked Amul Baby who, in turn, quizzed him on his childhood dream of becoming a journalist. I wonder what prevented our Arnab Goswami from making face palm on Baba’s attempt to turn into the interviewer and do a U-turn of becoming the politician that ask silly question to a journalist. ROFL!!! I nearly fell off my chair and just imagine Rahul Baba aka Amul Baby Face was one of our leading journalists quizzing people on you know what and what’s not. Okie! Okie! I know this post is going nowhere and my vicious attempt of making it humorous post, picking on our Rahul Baba is becoming lame just like the interview. See! I have been morally harassed and molested by watching apna Amul Baby for one hour and twenty minutes. So, you don’t blame me for becoming senile right now. I am not Arnab for sure but can understand the poor man’s plight for being beaten at its own game..err! no silly! Rahul Baba’s senseless game, or does he know he was playing a smart kid nintendo game on a TV channel. Rely on Digvijay Singh who will tell you that there is nothing dysfunctional with the new Nintendo Game on the market and that apna Rahul Baba walked the talk with so much elan and intellectual grace. See, the boy is Mama’s pet. But who let Mama down in times of dire need like that on TV?! The video game was not designed to the liking of Amul Baby. May be! Or, May be not! The new added features in the game Right To Information Act, youth and Women empowerment and, of course, NaMo..perhaps, they should add some extra bhajan feature such as NaMo NaMo Rahul Sukh ka Karni NaMo NaMo.
Now, I’m curious and my heart is racing and running agog with excitement at the sight of the new and improved Rahul Baba. I wonder what I am doing as a journalist and whether I should go and read for a degree in Psychology. I would make RaGa ya Amul Baby Face my subject of study and delve into his heart and how mental wires are transferred into his head.
ME: Rahul Baba, prince of Delhi, what goes into your head?
Rahul Baba: You tell me. Why did you choose to become a Psychologist?
ME: What the fuck Baba? You are my subject and you are asking me questions. Remember, this study of mine will be lapped up by millions and yet you will take crores of rupaiyas and tell your Momma, Momma Momma I won the jackpot. Let’s forget about NaMo uncle now!!! Pleaze pleaze!!!!!
The PM walla game. oops! sorry race is on..Race Sanson ki….we shall sing the song as August is nearing. He shall not travel by local train to meet peasants. Oh! please Amul Baby Face, please spare us of your long but tedious train journey. See, it’s very tiring and we had enough by watching you on Times Now. Did anybody tell you that your performance on TV was superbly boring and you have no answers to questions. By the way, Baba, do you know there is something called body language and eye contact? What!! They don’t teach it at your alma mater or in the Congress School! I’m sure you have forgotten to play by the rules. Oh! Wow! Thanks for reminding us that your family sacrificed their life for the nation and you witnessed the big Indian sacrifice and you sacrificed your life, your babe in ‘Videsh’ for our ‘desh’. Thanks for telling us. For once, I emphatize with you but even more with poor Arnab whom you harassed and I bet he wanted to check the Vishaka guideline on his lap top. Only hell knows why he didn’t file a complaint for publicly and morally harassing a journalist on air in front of crores people. As I told you, I pity Arnab for sitting with you throughout. What were you thinking Rahul Baba? Sardar bahut khush honge sabashi denge..what Momma Sardar told u? R-a-h-u-l, I never thought that you will break my heart like that and you cannot even perform a simple task like that. See Amul Baby, I prefer Dr Manmohan Singh and I tell you it’s better to be silent like that rather than speaking at all. What a sweet revenge for Dr Singh whose fur you choose to gently caress or rub publicly when he was in New York mission? Our PM must be smiling and eating gulab jamun. Sweet revenge for PM, na!! Not bad when you said that Ordinance Bill should be teared off. NaMo must be thanking you and must be offering his prayers to your clay idol as your own Congress Party is fuming at the change in affection of NaMo towards you.
If we were to make the remake of Sholay what role would you prefer Amul Baby Face? Jai not for you, perhaps, Basanti..as NaMo will sing Koi bhi haseena jab ruth jata hai aur bhi haseen ho jata hai..you chatter box and naughty boy!!!! Howz about playing Uday Chopra as cop of the year in Dhoom:4 catching the thief as Arnab can be offered Inspector Jai Dixit. NaMo will be happy playing the thief, what say?
I am tempted to say, Itni Khushi Itni Khushi!!!!!! Now, you take rest Amul Baby Face after the antics on Times Now. I’m telling you, you are the next Indian Idol sensation on TV. Howz about being an inmate in the next season of Big Boss?
Wait, Amul Baby, let’s play Kaun Banega Crorepathi, just one question for one crore.
Welcome to KBC with Amul Baby Face.
What do you think Amul Baby want to do next?
1. Marry his phoren girl friend.
2. Eat Parle G biscuit
3. Empower his intellect
4. Harass voters and viewers with his GQ
Remember our Phone A Friend option has been stolen by Arnab Goswami, Mommy has banned 50:50, Junta is not voting since they are still recovering from Monday’ heart attack and computer-ji is singing Rahul Amul Baby Face so no alat palat.
The poor Me, harassed and molested on Times Now debate on the fateful Monday. Still recovering from Monday Blue..oops Rahul Blue
Now, enjoy this one. Shared by my very dear friend Aditi Mittal on FB, http://www.campusghanta.com/2014/01/28/rahul-gandhis-interview-with-arnab-in-pictures. Thanks, Aditi for saving my life as I was on the verge of jumping into the freezing cold pool.