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Shuddh Love in the name of age differences

Love..Ishq Pyar Aur Mohabbat..Shuddh Desi Romance..Love in the name of Pure Ghee mixing sprinkle of salt, kiss, lust and unconditional state as the heart goes cuckoo in the name of loving and living passionately. Heard on Mera Sangeet, the coy voice tells us..arre Bhai! What’s the harm in falling in Love? Indeed, the sweet voice of RJ Neeti shares with us some tit bits of falling in love coz IT knows no barriers, no age gap and to hell with prejudices in love shuv.. Okie!Okie! Not beating around the bush, dearies! This post on love shuv, age gap and prejudices is inspired byRJ Neeti’s show Love is Complicated and, now you know, why I love listening to radio and Neeti’s sexy voice..I get ideas on ma favorite topic, Love. Babes and dudes! Enuf of jokie jokie, serious stuff coz this post is all about falling in love, the most beautiful feeling in the world.

age differences

L-o-v-e, four letter words, isn’t it? We don’t wake up one morning to fall in love with someone aur pyar mein sharth nahin rakhte hai (No rulz) in love nor we ask the person permission to fall in love. Love just happens. So what if we fall in love with someone  who is years younger or older than us? The heart melts, the eyes meet, lips kiss as we fall in love with the person. There are certain qualities that attracts us to a person as we delve into each other’s heart. There are people who are in love with each other despite the fact that the man may be 10 years older than the woman or the princess is 10 or 12 years elder than her knight in shining armor. We never ask before falling in love with each other. Then,  why should we seek society’s approval? Kuch to log kahenge logon ka kaam hai kahene (Let people speak coz we will never be able to seal their wagging tongues). One should be able to rise above the petty talks and since we don’t owe anybody a living, we should care for the person who means a lot to us and not strangers.

I always feel that age is just a number and it shouldn’t define who you are as a person. Both individuals should strive to make each other feel specialas you hold each other’s hand, kiss in the sun and make love. What matters is how you feel for each other and never let the age difference comes into play. Be comfortable with each other and never make the mistake of making the other person feel small, old, inferior or guilty in the relationship.

cheeni kum

It is a bone of contention that two person who has fallen in love with each other may face obstacles in terms of age and generation gap. It may be tough to handle somewhere and at some point in life, both should make sacrifices to understand each other so that the love will always triumph. Difficult times may crop at some point where there is a lack of understanding or your better half may show tantrum after a bad day or after hearing some unwanted comments about each other at the work place, on the streets or among friends or relatives. Always make sure you communicate with each other to ward off what I call ‘small misunderstanding’ and avoid being personal in a moment of fury. I feel that one should stick to the arguments and avoid using the words such as ‘They told me so’ which is so common. It can destroy a beautiful relationship based on love and trust. Such obstacles should be dealt with a lot of maturity and understanding.

The major obstacle in a relationship is family which is a mirror image of the conservative society in which we live. It is a tough call and it is a fact that our parents have grown with a different mindset and vehemently oppose a match  when their children have decided to fall in love with someone years younger or older than them. We love our parents a lot but that doesn’t mean they should rule our lives. It is our own call that matter and, after all, it is our own lives and not that of our parents. One should never let a third party rule our life and we should not let any form of emotional blackmail  ruin our lives. In the first place, we never sought society’s permission to fall in love, or for that matter, our parents’ approval. So why the relationship is wrong for us? Just because society, parents or close knitted family so? I find it ridiculous and, always bear in mind, we can never be happy in a marriage or relationship decided by our parents and defined by prejudices.

We may listen to our parents but what about the person who is fighting his or her own battle to be with us? Should we abandon the person just because our parents are saying so? As a dignified human being, we should always respect the other person’s feeling and not hurt him or her in our quest to please the family or the ones who gave us the birth as he or she is an individual who has feeling.

If the bond between the man and the women is so strong, no power in the world can stop them from being together and be each other’s strength. Mature men and women are intelligent enough not to let society’s definition and fake moral rules determine what’s right or wrong for them. It is really sad how we use terms like cougar for women who are in a relationship with men younger in age and it is a slanderous and insulting word to use.  What matters is emotionally and physical compatibility between both partners in this relationship. It is never easy to battle prejudices but as long as we are sure what we want in a relationship, the rest doesn’t matter.

Any relationship is a matter of give-and-take and both partners should be ready to override ideological differences, age differences that may creep in as well as talks about growing old and apart from each other. Such considerations  has always existed but as long as the bond is super strong, the mature couple will be able to overcome such differences. We should also get away with the myth that sexual relationship will suffer as the couple grow old and some women doesn’t need sex as they reach a certain age. Couples in love should dispel this fear as research has shown that both men and women converge as a result of their sexual, emotional needs.

What would I do if I fall for someone years younger or older than me? Since I am in love with the person with whom I have decided to spend my entire life, I will go ahead without batting an eye lid. Well, life is not a bed of roses and family prejudices is bound to happen, I will seek the blessing of my family but if they are reluctant to accept the match, I will inform them that I am going ahead and, after all, it is my life and not theirs. I will not inflict self harm on the self nor on the person I love. Certainly, I will move away from the family and live with my partner in a place free of negativity in a different city or country where we can breath free. I will feel sad for my family but since they cannot accept me us and our love , there is little that I can do. I will never run away from the person I love since we have  a strong emotional bond or base my choice on moral yard sticks or society’s definition of what is right or wrong. It is not a crime to be in love.

Love is love. It comes in different forms, the love of a man for a woman, two men in love or two women in love. No age gap can or should define love as a human expression of emotion and longing to be with each other. Prejudices or moral yardsticks can never substitute love as an emotion. Better love than hate coz there are many doing this which is destroying a society made of innocent men and women. We make love and not hate.

Once again, a big hug to the beautiful and sweet, RJ Neeti who spoke gracefully about age gap in love. She has been an inspiration behind this post and make sure you tune in on or log on facebook to find her

With Love







Work-in-progress, seeker and bundle of contradictions. Stubborn and Refusal to grow up and constantly in search of myself, I blurt it out on my space. Drop in and share some love. Indian by choice.

29 thoughts on “Shuddh Love in the name of age differences

    1. Hey, Mukta I tried to interpret it and I know..its quite long on a rather sensitive subject:) Love the last lines, more love going around. Credit goes to RJ Neeti of Mera Sangeet:)

  1. love is love it does not cares about anything else, i believe love should be mutual and handled in dignified way by both involved. otherwise it is not love in my eyes. the lovers may have different opinion, that is quite alright to me.

      1. then maybe wordpress should introduce a “love” button.
        shheesh!! that sounds so gross!!
        bt u understood na what i wanted to say?

  2. Its a great post Vishal…I also believe that age is just a number…when you are in love…nothing matters…caste creed religion or age…we never ask the opposite person…if you belong to my religion or caste then only I will fall in love with you…it just happens and finally comes a time when both can’t live without each other…in the name of the culture Indians are living life but without soul…I mean look around us how many married couples are there who are actually happy…hardly two or three…everyone else is just faking out…our generation is breaking pattern and rules…lets see where will we go 🙂

    1. It really gets to me when I see the prudish, conservative moral uptight mindset imposing their views on us. I do not believe in caste, gender or religion. I always say, morality is a relative term. Love is what matters and this whole thing about Indian or Hindu culture is the biggest hypocrisy. The love Jihad for instance is the biggest No no!!! It’s heartening to see the new gen breaking pattern for a fresher outlook, though communalism will make our life difficult. Let’s hope for the better coz age and religion is no bar.
      Thanks so much for commenting.

      1. Thanks, Aarya. I am humbled by such kind words and trust me, I have a long way to go. I have my weaknesses and believe me, you are super talented and doesn’t flinch in telling the truth, be it on society, sex or so called morality and hypocrisy:)

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