Big Boss 7: Heaven and hell break loose

I am tempted to sing, ‘Aaja Gufaon mein aa’, as I am reminded of the faces of evil characters portrayed by Amitabh Bachchan, Manoj Bajpai and Raveena Tandon in Rakesh Mehra’s AKS. I am amazed at my lack of consistency as the song keeps harping in my ears and memory. I am like what the fuck? I almost forget that I’ve been watching Big Boss 7 and now the song with the lines, chehra pe chehra chehra badalta hai (Faces which keep changing) jig in my memory.

BB 7

We were promised Jannat (paradise) and Jehannam (Hell) as the Big Boss house is divided into two parts, living paradise and hell. Novelty and creativity in the mad house? You bet! I expected dare devil and ruthless acts of conspiracy during the start of Big Boss, yet it turned out to be a tale of trying too hard to please. Disappointed? Well! Err! The word disappointed is quite simplistic like heaven but I am at a loss of words to describe the idiosyncrasies of the participants. Well! Just that!  Did I tell you that my favorite is Gauhar Khan coz of all the participants, she seems to be the smart, minus despo, brave and is playing the games intelligently by dancing to “Wait and watch baby, see how I screw you with my looks.” She speaks with poise and lotsa confidence. C’mon! Gauhar, we need some actions as we are ushering in week two. Show your bitchy side and why you keeping the evil side for later?!

Is it a well guarded secret that the house is made of ‘has-been’ celebrities who are desperate to show the world that they still exist. Oh! Anita Advani? Who is She? Anita-ji is not even a yesteryears celebrity, except her surname, perhaps. Advani-ji! She popped out of nowhere after the death of superstar Rajesh Khanna and guess, using the name of India’s first superstar must be something to tell the world, ‘Hey! I exist. Please, listen to me!’. I shall refrain from commenting on Anita-ji of LK’s namesake. Guess! She wanna tell the world, See! I do exist and not just RK’s babe! I am on Big Boss 7.

The Mister flop but expressionless actor who was launched thrice in the 90s is a case that a scholar doing his or her Phd in film should study. No prize for guessing? The Mr frustrated, Armaan Kohli, is a special case in Big Boss 7 and he is, perhaps, living to his dreams of Angry Young Man on Big Boss. Kohli is always angry on everyone, be it on Rahul Ro-wal, Gauhar Khan or Andy. He needs to assert himself on the show and his prejudice against women is amusing and revolting. Poor, Mr Armaan? Still reveling in the 1930s mindset of men who cannot accept being called off by a woman. This man is so spiteful and stinks. Guess, the show runs on account of such despo and mediocre so-called actor who keeps swearing on the show. The song picturized on him, ‘Mein Junglee Kabootar’ seems to be stuck in his memory and he is truly living to Junglee Kabutar.

Have you seen an Unindentified Flying Object (UFO) in Big Boss? In case, you haven’t, think again?!!! Okie, ask Uday Chopra how to pronounce, T-A-N-I-S-H-A!!!! Okie, jokes apart. I am a huge fan of Tanuja, Ajay Devgan and Kajol but this Tanisha is..ahem! ahem! a UFO! The Madam who doesn’t do anything in the House shows pride in being the Captain! The only thing is that she doesn’t do anything a house captain is expecting to do. I prefer the elf in Harry Potter any day. She keeps giving orders what to do and what not to ! Complementing Tanisha is Mr Andy!!!! Woohoo! They fought like hell and wasted no time in kissing and making up. Both are like..oh! peas in the pods. We have another character in the house, going by the name of Shilpa Saklani. This one is another curious case of TV star whose face is completely flat and blank. She would win hands down the award of ‘birdie whisper’, whatever that may be. Shez one of a kind who pretends to be nice to everybody yet screws them behind the back. A case of wearing the cloak of invisibility yet plotting like the bahu-rani of our daily soap-operas. Guess! The scripts and characterization of small screens constantly haunt the faces of soap-operas. She should be called, ‘Qaid Mein Bulbul’ as she is forever hooked to the window bar to make lovey-dovey with hubby, Apoorva, ‘Hogaya Hai Tum se Pyar’. Speaking of Apoorva, he seems to be a genuine guy.

Ah! There are some names like Pratyusha, the conservative face of TV who believe ..well, does she has an opinion after all? Miss Pratyusha, after all, thinks that a woman should keep quiet or be lovey-dovey with Armaaan. Are Kamya, Ratan Rajput, Kushal and Eli really part of the show? I wonder. Just asking?! Rahul Ro-wail! What is this man up-to with his natak-baazi of crying every now and then? Tsunami of tears seems to flow not only on the contestants but insane viewers like us. It’s another thing that we don’t enjoy the Tsunami of tears. I can understand the love of a father for her daughter, but crying for every single reason. Dude! Don’t force such much emotions coz it’s not the way to gain six-pack.

Salman Khan is endearing a the host of Big Boss 7 and is at his wittiest best on the show. Our Sallu bhai comes in a different avatar towards on the show and I love how he he add a dash of humor bearing his trademark, at times wicked. I love the novelty Salman brings to the show and one cannot help to think that his character is displaying some mischief that he is jealously keeping as the show evolve. The participants  gotta be cautious as Salman is reserving his dark side which he will certainly display to set right some of them and bring his ego down.


The post on Big Boss was prompted by the wonderful and dear Anu ( asked me to write on the show, an offer too good to refuse. Hope, you love the bitchy and evil side of me!

With Love



  1. Oh god Vishal this is some post now. Needless to say you are so good with witty descriptions. Love the banter’s in your post. No more regret bouts for not watching it live. Guhar Khan “Beauty with Brain”, Shilpa “Miss PDA” , Pratayusha “The Background Banshee” , Tanisha “The good for nothing girl”, Anita The “despo Aunty”. Am I right on picking up suitable names for them? Thank you hundred times for writing this prompt exclusively for me…..

  2. That’s a good roundup…but somehow some of the descriptions on some of the people does not go with my opinion. I have some varied pinions about some of the characters in there.

    Anyway, I watch the show because I like analysing their characters

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