Guest Post: Indian woman speaks out her heart

Hey folks! Hows you doing on a lazy Sunday?! Well! Surprise for you all as the blog welcomes the first guest blogger who speaks about her experience as an Indian woman and her sense of insecurity and being a woman, in the first place. The lady is a dear friend of mine with whom we worked together for a year and bonded over things that matter. I am happy that a like-minded person is the guest blogger on the space. I must confess that I asked her to be the guest blogger and she obliged. Now, scroll down and the next voice will not be mine but the anonymous friend who has chosen a very interesting topic to write on and which I think we should all reflect.

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I am an Indian woman living abroad these days. Here, I enjoy far more freedom than back home (Delhi, India). But being an Indian woman, I am so much accustomed with that sense of insecurity that arises when you see some drunken men while walking alone on a dark street or when you are alone home on the ground floor and the other floor is full of strangers (men) or when someone follows you or so many such incidents like this when you have no choice but to be frightened.

I felt it some days ago, after a long time, when I was alone at home and I heard some men sitting, drinking and talking loudly on the other floor. I locked all doors and windows of my house. I know it was so foolish to do that but it was an Indian young girl who did all that as her subconscious mind prompted her to do that.

This feeling of fear didn’t come just like that but it all started when India, once again, sparkled on the world platform for its shameful gang rape case where a girl was not only raped by six men but mutilated following which she died and prompted a never-ending debate over the safety of (approximately) half the population (women) of India. Since the night it happened, I couldn’t sleep for some nights thinking what if I go back to India. Would I ever be able to work normally? Would I ever be the fearless girl staying alone in Delhi, working late night? Would I ever go to watch late night movie shows? I am 100 percent sure, I wouldn’t. I am still not able to stop thinking about the girl, the ordeal she dealt with.

Do I have any solution to my problem?

I love my country, I love my people but I hate being part of a system which disrespect my being a woman. Why can’t I have my freedom which I am entitled for? Why do I have to think before wearing any dress if it is revealing or if it is inviting men to rape me or tease me?

Like all other girls, women of my country I have also felt, observed and lived those moments in which I was almost raped by some eyes. They were not able to touch my body but the scratches made by their thorny eyes are still there. I say I am an independent, strong woman, I can easily live my life happily without a man’ help, but my subconscious mind disagree with it, says if you live in India (be it in Delhi, Manipur, Rajasthan anywhere, whatever age you are; 4 or 40 nothing matters) you need a man with you. You need to be someone’s wife, sister, mother, daughter to stay safe and that too is not guaranteed.

It doesn’t matter what age you are, who you are living with you can be the victim anytime. No matter what you wear; Saree or mini skirt, cleavage showing tight top or a veil, the eligibility for eve teasing or rape is only that you have to be a girl.

Life, water and mystery

Standing like a robot in the bathroom, I watch the water falling from the tap.

Droplets of water that fall on the surface and like time the drop cannot be recovered.

I stare at the silent wall made of marble.

It’s a bathroom yet a man-made compartment.

Man has made this world yet destroyed existence.

We are the designers of the world.

We make life beautiful, enjoy every moment and bring to our surrounding.

Our fate lies in our hands,  O’ masters of destiny.

Let no setback and disappointment unsettle you.

The mind is fickle.

O’ Traveler! It’s a journey of life where you will meet several obstacles but will ultimately reach your destination.

Where does the water comes from where does it go?

Does it reach a dead end and does it ever stop?

Life is surely not about molecules.

Have you ever wondered where the source of life emanates?

It is the complex nature of life that is shrouded in mystery.

Behold! Water is no mystery as we  crave for the tiny drop.

Then, why don’t we gear up for living every moment of life.

With Love

V

Hats off to Sanjay Dutt

Justice denied is justice delayed. Irrespective of the outcome of justice, a citizen who decides to uphold the justice of his or her country is the biggest patriot in his country and one is forced to respect actor Sanjay Dutt who spoke of his intention to accept the judgement delivered by the Supreme Court. We all know that the court judgement has charged Sanju Sir for possession of illegal arms and not for spreading terror attacks and this is the reason why I wrote that he should be

English: Audio release of Munnabhai MBBS (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

pardoned since he already served his term in prison.

This man has shown his dignity and honored the memories of his parents by accepting the judgement wholeheartedly. It is indeed sad that an innocent man like Sanjay Dutt has to go to prison due to the harsh judgement of the Supreme Court. Sadly though, the whole media debate became Sanjay Dutt centric and I lament on the way in which the actor faced trial by the media. Sanju Sir had to come out and he did so in a very emotional manner where the man spoke his heart on him being an India who loves the country and that he will not move the court for pardon. I can only admire Sanju Sir for the courage displayed and it shows that he is beyond reel life heroism and is today a real hero. Sanju Sir has emerged as a model for the young generation.

I respect his stand on the judgement delivered. However, as justice Katju said that will not prevent him from seeking pardon from the Governor of Maharashtra to free Sanju Sir who bore the brunt of Hindu extremist elements, media at large and everybody who condemned him. He has already suffered a lot. As people who believe in justice, equality nobody should prevent us to ask for leniency on the part of the Governor of Maharashtra for Sanju Sir.

Hats off to Sanju Sir for his courage and belief in the Indian constitution.

V

Friday’s 100 words post:)

The blogging world is going Gaga over 100 words and my Friday goes with my 100 words. Love, life, Hope, Dream chaser intertwined with expectations, disappointment and sadness, that form the basis of our human existence. The going was good and I was stopped in my track by a major set back. I am down but I shall bounce back with a bang and that I am pretty confident bout! What else find hundred words post? Sachin’s 100 tons, 100 bucks on a Friday. Wow! 100 is amazing as I near my first hundred words for this post on the last Friday of the month.

 

 

 

Making love to her, shadow and the wooden house

The room is silent and adorned by the dim light on the wooden roof.

The shadow perched on the chair, moving to and fro.

A gentle wind flutters through the open window as the white curtains whimpers through.

Winter has just seeped through the season shaken by an extreme flurry of extreme heat.

It rained heavily that night in Missourie as I traipsed my way slowly to the wooden-carved house in the middle of the night. My car broke down in the middle of the rain and I was wet from top to bottom. The servant gently gave me the permission to stay in the wooden house as he sets for Mumbai and I was told to keep the keys of the house beneath the brick as I close the door and decide to leave towards my destination.

Two days back:

Roshni and I drove through from Delhi to Missourie in her dad’s swanky Maruti Car. It was our only gateway to heaven as her family was waiting for her in Missourie and we met one night at Connaught Place. We had coffee at CCD and we hit off like a house of fire. She was an angel sent straight from the skies to brighten my existence and few days spent together. She keeps telling that perhaps we will never meet after that and I might receive a bolt from the blue.

We set off from Delhi to Missourie at 11 p.m during the rains and it was an exciting journey where we stopped mid-way. We stopped the car to make love as she bended her neck towards me and prodded me to kiss her. We kissed passionately as we removed each other’ clothes and made love to each other, kissing and cajoling. I was drawn to her lotus body, was helpless and increasingly attracted to her. I lost control of my senses as we had sex in the car. After the act, she kissed me on the lip saying, ‘Let’s keep good memory of the wonderful times spent together. It’s been priceless and you shall remember my existence.’ There was something quite intriguing about her. As she moved away from me, she turned back and smiled wickedly, ‘Phir Milenge.’

I drove my way in the rains but lashed so heavily that the car barely moved in the murky hour. I got out of the car and lit a cigarette along with a cutting chai. I was completely wet when I met this short fellow, in khaki short who guided me to the wooden house on top of the hills. He waved good bye to me, ‘chalo saab, dhyan rakhna (take good care of yourself). Inside the room, I pour myself a whisky and lay on the bed, reading Paulo Coelho’s Veronica decides to die. I dozed off.

I was woken up in the middle of the night by a shriek downstairs and violent shaking of doors. I thought that it the winds are so strong with the rains as I rushed to close down the window. It was in the dining hall, designed in the Pre-British era where there was a bonfire. As I walked barefoot, I saw a shadow perched on the armchair swinging from one end to another.

I stood still as the creature got up. It was a female shadow who slowly get up from the arm chair as the thundering stroke the room as the windows shook violently. The beautiful women stood naked, from top to bottom and her legs jerked and swung

in the air. It didn’t touched the floor. It was Roshni smiling and said, ‘I told you, na. It was not our last meeting but this one is and I bet you were administered a bolt from the blue.’ I felt a lump in the throat as my body was trembling.

‘What is real is not necessarily true. Attraction might just be an illusion.’

V

 

End of a dream

I am very angry and disappointed today!!! I abhor the attitude of some hypocrites..yes! I am venting out in this forum, my space, my blog! I numb and dunno how to react at the way things have unfolded themselves. It was the biggest shocker I received as the Monday unfolded itself when I was informed that our newspaper is closing until further notice. I couldn’t understand what was happening in the start and it’s like I received a bolt from the blue. At first, I thought that we can discuss and think over matters. But, we hit a dead en.

It’s been almost three years that I proudly associated myself with the newspaper which we all loved. We never thought that things will be brought to such a brutal end to the family that we all belong to. It’s been an amazing journey which we all have loved and I’m sure, we will cherish forever. We laughed together and everybody loved to be there. What I love so much with our group is that money was never the main consideration for us being there but the dedication, camaraderie and madness that withstood all other consideration. There are so many beautiful memories that we took along with us.

Like other friends, I am extremely dismayed and depressed. There are some people whom I will never ever forgive and these two came to break the team’s unity and spirit that existed among the team. Frankly, I don’t know what went wrong and I can’t help feeling that there was a big manipulation and conspiracy. We worked with our heart and poured our respective souls in the work that was ours. It was not just a work place. It was not just a product but something that we owned.

Today, I went to office to throw away unneeded stuffs, took the whole day to transfer my writing stuffs on the office comp and guess, tomorrow, I will not go there to pick up stuffs. The feeling has not yet sinked in and perhaps, I will need some few days to get things out of my system. People did not realize how good the newspaper was and the potential our product had. Unfortunately, it has to come to an and. It’s a case of missed opportunity.

It’s been a great learning experience where I learned a lot from my boss whom I have immense respect for. She taught me so many things and I still recall the days when I joined the paper where I couldn’t comprehend how a newspaper works. I was a zero and I came of age and bloomed in the newspaper. I made so many good friends which I shall cherish forever and ever.

It was an emotional bondage that we build over years and I was lucky since that was the job that gave me the opportunity to travel, gain international exposure and conducted high profile interviews. In the process, I interviewed the likes of Uma Tuli, Aseem Chauhan and Shibani Kashyap. I can only be humbled by such an honor.

On Saturday, I attended my last events as a reporter of the organization and stayed in the office for the whole day. There was a political press meet  and the national day of Pakistan and I made four stories, picked along three bylines. It was a journey. At the end of the day, I’m speechless and dunno what’s happening. I feel that I was hit by something on the head. I have no explanations for things and it’s a point blank situation.

The end note: I can only thing the amazing people who made my life amazing, right from being a sub-editor to being a reporter. Perhaps, there are better things lying ahead. I just want to be hopeful. But, terribly hurt, heart-broken and disappointed.

V

Hope, aspirations, dream and a better tomorrow

A dream finally came true.

It nurtured hope, aspirations and zest for life.

It became my passion and my world revolved around the  package of dream.

It was just not a way of life.

It was life in itself.

I couldn’t be more lucky as surprises after surprised unfolded it.

I am grateful to this beautiful package called passion.

My writing, my craft only rendered my life significant.

It was the reason for my being.

It brought a gush of fresh air in my entire existence.

It was the oxygen without which I could not breathe.

Like all good things, it came to an end.

The dream crashed down.

I believed in my dreams yet it came to an end.

Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

I keep asking myself?

Walking miles in a desperate state, I couldn’t comprehend what was happening?

I was suddenly caught in the middle of the war.

A war I am waging with myself, surrounded by bullets from the enemy’s camp and defenseless.

Is it the end?

I refuse to take it low and I strongly believe in Hope.

Without hope, I couldn’t dare to dream.

I shall not let the storm get the better of me.

There is always a better tomorrow.

I live on hope and dare to dream and fly.

I shall soar to the skies.

Good Night

V

 

 

 

Pleasurable moments, multiplicity of colors and life

Opportunity, optimism and the mojo overrides all negative feeling.

The mind is watchful over events that surround my existence.

Love, passion, deceit, rejection and joy looms large over the entire gamut of human existence.

High Tide lift all boats as they anchor amid the storms.

Life is such a hurricane and the moment we accept defeat, we shall never reach the shores.

Hit by the storms, we strive to find a way out.

There is always light after dark.

Standing with our candles, we demand justice because we believe there is light after oppression.

There is grey shade, dark shade and multiplicity of colors that adorn our life.

Life is conquered by us, the believer in light, bright sky and blue water.

There is so much hope in the world.

Life is so beautiful as we hark back to pleasurable moments in the past.

Our life is so full of colors and possibilities.

One need to feel the tinge of hope, immense beauty and feel the presence of a beautiful life ahead.

Just experience the beauty and flawlessness of oceans, seas and mountains.

We survive on hope and intrinsic beauty of a life well spent.

Keep the faith

V

 

Pleasure seeker, lust, sex and love

She walked in front of me, dressed in her white skirt and turned her face playfully.

I am longing for her, something she is not oblivious to.

She enacted the game I hate the most, play hard to get.

Deep inside, I wanted to kiss her, make love to her body as the body temperature is soaring inside.

Lying on the bed and lighting a cigarette, I ask , Is she feeling the same inside?

I was confused and bewildered at the same time.

What makes her so attractive as a women.

Certainly, it’s not just her body and beautiful face.

Was it lust?

It cannot be for her presence been tormenting me for aeons.

I pretend not be fazed by her magnificence.

She peered at me, sporting the smile and trying to garner my attention.

She walked past me, to and fro, in the seductive manner.

She ran her hands down her fair and till her legs.

O! Mysterious women! Me and You alone in the room?

Why do you need to make me desire you in the most sexual manner.

I am helpless, guilty wanting to make sexual love to you.

Oh! Great doer of exotic erotic pleasure!

It’s painful and lusty.

Your curves makes me wanna more.

She sits close to me , her legs pressed on my knee.

She caresses my face.

I was helpless, guilty and my eyes full of lust.

We knew no bound as our body electrified like the magnified.

We kissed passionately as our body chartered in undefined quarters.

We explored different parts of the human body.

The passion has been ignited.

We gonna reach the maxim and no human sensibility shall stop us from indulging in erotic love.

The chasm of passion overriding all matters of moral significance.

I discovered love at the altar of lust.

It was worth the wait as I realized she is not just a body capable of deriving sexual pleasure and orgasm.

It was not just pelvic pleasure.

Pleasure-seekers and ardent fans of erotic simulation shall not deny me love.

With Love

V

Petition to review Sanjay Dutt’s verdict

I elaborated on the reasons as to why Sanjay Dutt should not be sent to jail since he has not been declared a terrorist. Unfortunately, some people are rushing into conclusions and failed to demarcate between a terrorist and the charge he was guilty of, possession of unlawful arms. Many arguments have been flouted that if he is let off a bad example will be set. I ask, why they are picking up on him? Just because he is a celebrity and as former judge, Katju rightly remarked, his case is different from the others who have been tried for spreading terror attacks in Mumbai.

We agree that he should be punished for holding unlawful arms which he did. While I respect the court judgement, it would be unfair to make him suffer twice for just a single crime, holding unlawful arms. This has nothing to do with the fact that he is Sanjay Dutt the star. I am not pitching for him because he is a celebrity but because I am convinced that he is a changed man, has done lots of good work for society. He is not a terrorist, the judges agreed on Thursday.

I ask some questions:

Firstly, was Sanjay Dutt involved in other blasts that rocked the city? Then, how come they were not avoided. It is an answer to critics who said he could have avoided the blasts of 1993.

Secondly, Sanjay Dutt who is innocent has been sentenced. What about the master mind, Dawood Ibrahim who is hiding in Pakistan. Speak about unfair trial.

Thirdly, why are people mixing Dutt’s case and those tried for terror attack. There is a difference. Is there a hidden agenda behind that?

Fourthly, Is he a threat to the nation? No, he is not. Even the CBI has expressed the wish that he should not be sent to jail.

Fifth and final argument: He has served in jail for 20 months and is a hard-working person, an actor in the film industry. What do people want? Revenge and Redemption. By sending Sanjay Dutt, a law-abiding citizen to jail will you be able to prevent terror attacks?

If you feel the same about Sanjay Dutt, go ahead and sign the petition to prevent an injustice against the man whose parents, Dutt Saab and Nargis ma’am has contributed a lot to the industry and to India. Our conscience will prick us if an innocent man is tried for a crime he did not commit.

Find the petition below:

http://www.change.org/petitions/the-honourable-supreme-court-of-india-please-review-sanjay-dutt-s-verdict?utm_campaign=action_box&utm_medium=twitter&utm_source=share_petition#supporters