Respect in a relationship can be a complex issue among the different partners. The man or woman who commands respect are evolved human beings. However, there is one breed of human beings who impose their own pattern of thinking on others and falsely believe that it is respect. It’s not. What they do is bully people, resort to gimmicks such as emotional and verbal violence. The father who shouts at her daughter complies to him. This is not respect but bullying. The husband who insults and assaults his wife is not commanding respect but asking for obeisance. The ego is high that they want to hurt the opposite to make themselves heard. Perhaps, they were the victim of such violence and no one listen to them that they want to make themselves heard.
What irks me when people decides the career for their kids, engineering and medicine thinking that the 18-year-old is not intelligent enough on the course of his or her life. One thing:Kids did not asked to be brought in the world, It is the parents who brought them into this world and why you choose to punish them and impose your rules on them. Remember it’s their lives. probably, during our times things were different and now things are different. Move with time dude if you don’t wanna lose your children for good. This is the reason when children leave their homes for study they never come back and that your absence never makes any difference to their lives. Then, you don’t have the right to complain.
The bottom line is command respect and not obeisance. If you want to command respect with children and spouse or live-in partner, first learn to give them the respect in a relationship. First believe in equality in relationship. Don’t ever think that you are superior just because you are the bread-winner or the one who signs the cheque. That will never earn you respect in a relationship. If you think so, perhaps you are the biggest fool on earth.
If someone truly loves and cares for his wife, girl friend or children, the person will never raise his or her voice or hand on the loved ones. The reasonable person will sit and talk with that person and will find a way which is acceptable to both parties. This is a win-win situation not head I win and I will always toss the coin in such a manner that you get tail and lose. Such rare gems are winners in life and they may not be the richest people on earth but wealthy in terms of successful career and relationship. This is respect, my dear.
Such kind of human beings will always nurture, encourage love and will always reject the imposition of rules and punish his loved ones when ever they reject such self-imposed rules. This is true love and affection. The ‘my way or the high way command’ is the perfect recipe for failure in a relationship. Partners and children are meant to share your life and laugh, cry with you and not cry in bearing your tantrums as well as foul hardy moods.
Next time before shouting at some, always remember they can also shout and break as many plates and glasses in the kitchen. Respect is earned and not imposed through acts of violence. A relationship based on mutual trust, love, violence and most importantly respect has the capacity wither the violent storms. Value people and the relationship you share with them is more important that the judgement of society. Since when opinion of others mattered more to the relationship you share with your children, spouse and partner.
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